Monday, 4 March 2013

"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 1, Theme 5

Path 1, Theme 5:  Trust: A Psychology of Trust and Expansion.



p. 83  Trust is the most basic meaning of faith. 



I agree.  

p. 84  The biggest struggle David [King David] has with trust (faith) is coming to the realization--and the trusting action that flows from that realization-- that he is trusted by God. He and humanity are entrusted by the Creator with creation. What God does first and best and most is to trust his people with their moment in history.  He trusts his people to do what must be done for the sake of his whole community. 

Wow
Yet, somewhere I knew that inside. The beautiful loving analogy in Song of Solomon depicts this trust; when the New Testament calls us the bride of Christ and God giving the garden to Adam and the keys of the kingdom to Peter.  All of these show God's willingness to trust us while still knowing we are human and going to mess up.

p. 84  Our expansion has no limit--God is the limit. We are as big as we allow ourselves to be. 



Another Wow.  I'm finding as I continue to grow and have good teachers like my priest and friends (both online and in person) that I expand. I love this cosmic-headed expansion because walking in this limitless space unites me with more and more so I can see God in more things and love those things because they are full of God. Even on days when I'm feeling small, self-centered and fearful, I can remember that cosmic feel and it helps pull me out of that egocentric space. Since God is in me and I am in Him - seeing Him in more places also means seeing me in more places, so it increases my self-esteem and my healthy love of self (as one of God's creatures).



p. 85  When you build your basic understanding of the universe on nature's cycles (as the creation-centered tradition does) rather than on a mythical past state of perfection (as the fall/redemption tradition does), you learn to reverence change and process. 



It is hard to let go of that craving for a "user manual" where I can take a test and see if I "measure up" to what I think God wants from me. User manuals give a feeling of security - push button one, move lever B and turn knob C and PRESTO, everything works great.  For many years, I had a religion of moral achievement and missed the main thing God offered me:  His love and friendship - reciprocal of Him in me and me in Him. I want to someday reach the place where I no longer know where I stop and God begins; or where God stops and I begin...



p. 85  The Irenaean theology, which is a creation theology, does not attribute to Adam before the fall a state of perfection, but rather sees the perfection of creation in its potential for growth and for allowing humans to grow by joy and by pain as well as by sin and by forgiveness. 



 I'm not sure I understand the first part; but I have lived the second. Most of my growth has been after the pain times, that eventually drag me into self-pity to the point of sin - where I get a grip on myself and ask for God's forgiveness and then He supplies me with another dousing of joy - so much joy it is like a 260 tonne haulage truck was packed full of joy and he dumped it all into my heart. If I wouldn't have known pain - I wouldn't recognize joy. If I hadn't sinned - I wouldn't understand forgiveness.  A quote I read on FaceBook by Lao Tzu, "New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings..."  How true. Or as Jesus said, "I tell you the truth. A grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die. Then it grows and makes many seeds. But if it never dies, then it will always be only a single seed."






p. 86  The creation-centered spiritual tradition does not teach fear about death.  In fact, the trust one learns about love, life, and ecstasy and the pain that accompanies  every layer of ecstatic living carry through in the death experience as well.  Death too can be trusted.  And in a real sense, we are entrusted with death so that we ought to be reverencing that aspect of living as much as any other aspect. 



I am blessed because I was not raised to fear death but have a very pragmatic about it. I know I have been corrected by some people for openly talking about when I die. At times I can even chuckle about the practicalities of death and the worst case scenarios.



p. 86 .... compassion is a function of faith [read trust] in a human nature, while compulsion is a function of lack of faith in human nature. 



I very much understand that. Being three times divorced, it's understandable that I would struggle with trusting human nature. Yet, I have a lot of compassion for the wives going through difficult marriages or reestablishing life after divorce. Having struggled with addictions, I have compassion for the partners who are struggling with those compulsive behaviors. I know this is an area that God is working with me - to trust even when experience says not to... to trust like Jesus did even on the via Dolorosa... the way of grief.  One thing we share with all humanity is pain, betrayal, joy, laughter, tears.... and so much more.



Joyce Meyer's teaching on self pity has ministered to me.  She said when something goes wrong, she'd ask God  "Why me?"  and one time God answered, "Why not you?"  Aaaaah,  we're all humanity.



p. 87  One reason why compulsion rather than compassion has so characterized the patriarchal era of religion is that trust has been so much less important than fear.  And spiritual expansion has been so much less important than guilt. 



I can understand that. Often others (and me, too) encourage people to fear if they are measuring up on God's yardstick; and pouring guilt if we aren't perfectly perfect like Jesus. Ive been on both sides of that equation. It kept me self-focused and with my shame and guilt hindering a close relationship with God. I am glad I am learning new Biblical skills so my focus isn't so much on my negatives but leaning more towards the positives. As I see my positives, it's easier to see others' positives and to validate them with tender words.



_________________



Update on spiritual discipline:  I am still doing morning and have added bedtime prayers to the Divine Office; on days when I don't work I usually add evening prayers.  Some days I listen to the readings while preparing for work - not as powerful as sitting and quietly letting them soak, but it is a start in the right direction. I am using divineoffice.org for the readings/listenings. 

I am reading from this Original Blessing most days. It is slow going because it is rich with new concepts and ideas - and with putting words to things I already knew. 




Tonight I signed up for an online class, "Beyond the Bird Bath: Richard Rohr Teaches the Courageous Heart of the Franciscan WayI am looking forward to this online class and to learning more about Saint Francis. 

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