Path 1, Theme 5: Trust: A Psychology of Trust and Expansion.
p. 83 Trust is the most basic
meaning of faith.
I agree.
p.
84 The biggest struggle David [King David] has with trust
(faith) is coming to the realization--and the trusting action that
flows from that realization-- that he is trusted by God. He and
humanity are entrusted
by the Creator with creation. What God does first and best and most
is to trust his people with their moment in history. He trusts
his people to do what must be done for the sake of his whole
community.
Wow Yet, somewhere I knew
that inside. The beautiful loving analogy in Song of Solomon depicts
this trust; when the New Testament calls us the bride of Christ and
God giving the garden to Adam and the keys of the kingdom to Peter.
All of these show God's willingness to trust us while still knowing
we are human and going to mess up.
p.
84 Our expansion has no limit--God is the limit. We are as big
as we allow ourselves to be.
Another Wow. I'm finding as I continue to grow and have good
teachers like my priest and friends (both online and in person) that
I expand. I love this cosmic-headed expansion because walking in this
limitless space unites me with more and more so I can see God in more
things and love those things because they are full of God. Even on
days when I'm feeling small, self-centered and fearful, I can
remember that cosmic feel and it helps pull me out of that egocentric
space. Since God is in me and I am in Him - seeing Him in more places
also means seeing me in more places, so it increases my self-esteem
and my healthy love of self (as one of God's creatures).
p. 85 When you build your basic
understanding of the universe on nature's cycles (as the
creation-centered tradition does) rather than on a mythical past
state of perfection (as the fall/redemption tradition does), you
learn to reverence change and process.
It is hard to let go of that craving for a "user manual"
where I can take a test and see if I "measure up" to what I
think God wants from me. User manuals give a feeling of security -
push button one, move lever B and turn knob C and PRESTO, everything
works great. For many years, I had a religion of moral
achievement and missed the main thing God offered me: His love
and friendship - reciprocal of Him in me and me in Him. I want to
someday reach the place where I no longer know where I stop and God
begins; or where God stops and I begin...
p. 85 The Irenaean theology, which
is a creation theology, does not attribute to Adam before the fall a
state of perfection, but rather sees the perfection of creation in
its potential for growth and for allowing humans to grow by joy and
by pain as well as by sin and by forgiveness.
I'm not sure I understand the first part; but I have lived
the second. Most of my growth has been after the pain times, that
eventually drag me into self-pity to the point of sin - where I get a
grip on myself and ask for God's forgiveness and then He supplies me
with another dousing of joy - so much joy it is like a 260 tonne
haulage truck was packed full of joy and he dumped it all into my
heart. If I wouldn't have known pain - I wouldn't recognize joy. If I
hadn't sinned - I wouldn't understand forgiveness. A quote I
read on FaceBook by Lao Tzu, "New beginnings are often disguised
as painful endings..." How true. Or as Jesus said, "I
tell you the truth. A grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die.
Then it grows and makes many seeds. But if it never dies, then it
will always be only a single seed."
p. 86 The
creation-centered spiritual tradition does not teach fear about
death. In fact, the trust one learns about love, life, and
ecstasy and the pain that accompanies every layer of ecstatic
living carry through in the death experience as well. Death too
can be trusted. And in a real sense, we are entrusted with
death so that we ought to be reverencing that aspect of living as
much as any other aspect.
I am blessed because I was not raised to fear death but have a
very pragmatic about it. I know I have been corrected by some people
for openly talking about when I die. At times I can even chuckle
about the practicalities of death and the worst case scenarios.
p. 86 .... compassion is a function of
faith [read trust] in a human nature, while compulsion is a function
of lack of faith in human nature.
I very much understand that. Being three times divorced, it's
understandable that I would struggle with trusting human nature. Yet,
I have a lot of compassion for the wives going through difficult
marriages or reestablishing life after divorce. Having struggled with
addictions, I have compassion for the partners who are struggling
with those compulsive behaviors. I know this is an area that God is
working with me - to trust even when experience says not to... to
trust like Jesus did even on the via Dolorosa... the way of grief.
One thing we share with all humanity is pain, betrayal, joy,
laughter, tears.... and so much more.
Joyce Meyer's teaching on self pity has ministered to me.
She said when something goes wrong, she'd ask God "Why
me?" and one time God answered, "Why not you?"
Aaaaah, we're all humanity.
p. 87 One reason why compulsion
rather than compassion has so characterized the patriarchal era of
religion is that trust has been so much less important than fear.
And spiritual expansion has been so much less important than guilt.
I can understand that. Often others (and me, too) encourage people
to fear if they are measuring up on God's yardstick; and pouring
guilt if we aren't perfectly perfect like Jesus. Ive been on both
sides of that equation. It kept me self-focused and with my shame and
guilt hindering a close relationship with God. I am glad I am
learning new Biblical skills so my focus isn't so much on my
negatives but leaning more towards the positives. As I see my
positives, it's easier to see others' positives and to validate them
with tender words.
_________________
Update
on spiritual discipline: I am still doing morning and have
added bedtime prayers to the Divine Office; on days when I don't work
I usually add evening prayers. Some days I listen to the
readings while preparing for work - not as powerful as sitting and
quietly letting them soak, but it is a start in the right direction.
I am using divineoffice.org for the readings/listenings.
I
am reading from this Original Blessing most days. It is slow
going because it is rich with new concepts and ideas - and with
putting words to things I already knew.
Tonight
I signed up for an online class, "Beyond
the Bird Bath: Richard Rohr Teaches the
Courageous Heart of the Franciscan Way" I
am looking forward to this online class and to learning more about
Saint Francis.
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