I started reading a book Father Peter recommended "Original Blessing" by Matthew
Fox (who was defrocked as a Roman Catholic so became an Anglican). When
it arrived, I was shocked, it's over an inch thick, has small print - I
thought, 'oh, my golly, it's some book for a graduate theology student,
it's certainly not something I'll be able to enjoy; but I'll try.' I
even enjoyed part of the 29 page introduction. The first chapter was
very readable and understandable, and has the author's personality
showing through so it makes it readable. He does push my reading
vocabulary to expand but not as much as A.W.Tozer did. I'm enjoying reading it.
Now that I've read the intro and three chapters, I realize Fox has painted a very interesting view of the history of
original sin and explains that Original Blessing is scripturally and historically accurate. I love
being challenged... I find it either changes me to embrace new ways or
to better understand why I want/need to cling to what I already had. I'm
glad I've grown to the point I can read different views and not feel
threatened or minimized or angry that the writer believes differently. I
can read, "Hummm, that's interesting..." then let it go; or study and
think about it and pray about it and see if God wants me to incorporate
that concept or part of that concept into my journey.
What does this have to do with becoming Franciscan? From what the author says, St. Francis held a similar view. To understand Francis to the point I'd want to follow his style of spirituality; I will need to understand how he perceived the faith he acted upon.This is a step in that direction - hopefully a step forward.
INTRODUCTION:
p. 10 - For just about every culture imaginable, religion and science were teammates who offered to the people a cosmic myth that allowed them to understand their universe, to find meaning in it, and to live out their lives with meaning.
I have wondered why the two no longer work together. I think of Psalms 8 and 19 and that show God reflected in his creation. I often feel closest to God as I soak in the beauty of nature; especially summers in Newfoundland (when I find a day without rain, that is ;-) ) Looking at the constancy of the waves and the power of the granite mountains shows me a glimpse of God. Then I realize that most of the world is illiterate and views like that are the only Bible they can read. It unites me with humanity in deeper ways.
p. 15 - in Chinese thought the word "crisis" also means "opportunity." And in Greek, from which we derive our word "crisis," the word means "judgment." The ecological/nuclear crisis and the unemployment crisis are both opportunities and occasions for the human race to begin judging and choosing consciously, to grow up, to let go, to redefine how it will settle conflicts and to redefine what is meant by work. Breakdown is very often the surest starting point for a genuine breakthrough.
I'd heard the opportunity definition for the word crisis; I had not been aware of the judgment definition. So often when the Old Testament profits would prophecy, there was an element of judgment in the opportunity. Historically when I'd have a crisis, I presumed I'd done something wrong and was being judged by it. At times those thoughts still need disarmed. Then I came to the conclusion that maybe I'd passed Grade 1 and was ready for the tougher lessons of Grade 2. Thus, judgment, may be a good thing and not just negative; I had been judged or evaluated as meeting the criteria to move to the higher level.
p. 15 - the central sickness of our world is precisely the split between religious wisdom and scientific knowledge and power.
That's a hard saying. I hope the book will get back to that and give more teaching. As I've learned from Fr. Richard Rohr and my own parish priest Father Gerald, there apparently is a both/and acceptance possible between the two. It's an area where I have not yet wrestled from black/white to both/and.
p. 18 - The late Erich Fromm once wrote, "Those whose hope is weak settle for comfort or for violence."
I agree with that from my recent history. But God has refused to allow myself to stay in victim status; he pulls me to my feet and says, "Stand in My Victory." One of the current lessons I am learning is the movement from victim to victor. Like Adam and Eve, it is easy to see ourselves as victims of life and to verbalize that by blame-shifting and hiding my true self under fig-leaves of denial, gaslighting, intellectualizing, spiritualizing, and miss the potential growth possible.
p. 19 - Julian of Norwich calls those who dwell on sinfulness "foolish." This creation-centered mystic actually invented the word "enjoy" in the English language. Joy beyond measure is part of everyone's potential experience. It is part of recovering an erotic God who plays, takes pleasure, births, celebrates, and feels passion. Eros and hope are part of the blessings of existence.
As I look back, it was during the process of learning to trust God as a benevolent, good and kind God that brought me to accepting the pleasures of life and sparked the unspeakable joy I live in. As long as I was dwelling on my own sinfulness, which often kept me focused on the sins of others, I had almost no peace, joy or kindness... the fruit of the spirit had withered up and in hiding.
PATH I - Befriending Creation: The Via Positiva
Chapter 1 - DABHAR: The Creative Energy (Word) of God
p. 38 - the true Dabhar of God is as much right brained (affection, play, and love) as it is left brain (verbal, truth-oriented, cognitive).
I agree. As a young man going to the temple, Jesus was depicted as both left and right brained. Left-brain as he talked to scholars when he was 12. Right-brained ... even at that time because his parents figured he was with other people - sounds social and right brained to me.The challenge for me is to remember that Jesus is whole - fully uses both sides of his brain. To be whole, I need to use both sides. Yet, I have to be careful to not judge and evaluate how I'm doing but just acknowledge as I take nightly inventory if I've spent time in both and then drop it and let it go so the old legalism doesn't get a grasp.
p. 39-40 - Our spiritual task is to get out of its way enough that we might be filled with it and go about our task of healing, celebrating, and co-creating. For Dabhar wishes to be incarnate in us.
I understand that "get out of the way" at this point in my Christian journey. A few years ago that stand back and make room for God to work in me would have angered me because I wanted steps to take to get where I wanted to be. I didn't enjoy the journey or even particularly see much reason for it; however I had a strong sense of wanting to be obedient so I could feel self-acceptance and maybe some God-acceptance. Life has changed so much since then. I have no doubt I am accepted by God and loved by God so I am more ready to heal, celebrate and co-create. I will soon arrive at the place where I am ready to co-create my first book... the book is already written in my heart so am waiting for the right time to pour it onto paper.
A thought I had while writing that. I said to myself that I wanted a freedom in God, a spontaneous relationship with Him. Then I realized that is not both/and thinking. Divine Office and Liturgy is what will keep me grounded as I experience greater spontaneity in my relationship with God and others. For me, it is a both/and - both the structure and the freedom that will work best for me (at least at this stage).
p. 40 - A creation-centered spiritual person is sensitive and aware, alive and awake to the ever-flowing, ever-green, unfolding of the divine Dabhar. For such a person, creation itself constitutes the primary sacrament.
I love the idea of creation being a sacrament but it is more. If creation is a sacrament and I'm part of creation - then I'm part of the sacrament. What dignity God bestows upon each of us and what loving tenderness that he comes to us to show us Himself and to show us ourselves.
Chapter 2 - Creation as Blessing and the Recovery of the Art of Savoring Pleasure
p. 46 - We can say blessing preceded creation too, for blessing was its purpose. Thus there is no doubt that original blessing is the basis of all trust and of all faith.
I agree.I can't feature a loving God saying, "Let us make man in our image so we can make provisions to send most to eternal damnation and hell." I don't even see that in scripture. Even humans aren't that silly. I can't feature any couple standing together, holding hands, looking deep in each others' eyes and saying, "I love you, let's make love and create a new life we can degrade, humiliate, abuse and kill." No, lovers say, "I love you, let's make love and create a new life we can pour our love into and watch the child grow to expand the love we have into the world."
p. 48 - Julian of Norwich writes that "God never began to love us. We have been known and loved from without beginning.
I agree. The more quotes I read of Julian, the more I want to read about her life. She sounds like a remarkable woman.
p. 48 - Augustine's effort to find original sin in the scriptures was hopelessly flawed -- he actually mistranslated the Bible in his zeal to prove his hypothesis -- yet the doctrine still constitutes a starting point for fall/redemption spiritualities and fundamentalist theologies.
Interesting. Yet, I've heard he brought a lot of good things, too. Maybe his life-long struggle with his own sexuality that compelled him to find an "escape clause" for his issues.
p. 49 - Original blessing is far more ancient and more biblical a doctrine and ought to be the starting point for spirituality.
I am coming to understand and believe this.
p. 49 - the sin behind all sin is seen as dualism. Separation. Subject/object relationships. Fractures and fissures in our relationships. Take any sin: war, burglary, rape, thievery. Every such action is treating another as an object outside of oneself. This is dualism. This is behind all sin.
I agree and I love the wording of that. It's no wonder the Great Commandment is to love God and love others... I have to see that type of validating, accepting and dignity-offering life before I have any clue what it is Christ offers. I'm grateful for Father Gerald and for Cursillo because through them my eyes began to open to see what was possible.
p. 50 - What trust is lost in oneself, on one's body, in the cosmos, when children are instructed that they came into the world as blotches on God's creation.
Agreed. And to add to that are parents who tell the child they wish the child was other than who he/she is - taller, shorter, different gendered, etc. I was raised in that atmosphere and passed it on to my children as I thought that was how parents talked to kids. I stand guilty and ashamed and repentant.
Yet, God chose to give young children to young parents; at my age, I understand what a magnitude of responsibility raising a child is and I've lived enough life I recognize many of my own faults and dysfunctions. Yet, I can see the wisdom of God's plan, too. It assures we grow up with wounds that only God an heal; and grow old with guilt that only God can heal. I marvel at the wonders of God.
I can marvel at God's wisdom of giving young children to young mothers. Although fertile until age 59, I can't imagine finding the energy to spend 18+ years raising a toddler at my age.
p. 51 = Pleasure is "what we are pleased to do." Pleasure truly pleases and does not merely titillate.... become so thoroughly one with what we love and enjoy that we make a holy tabernacle of the event.... The true contemplative will teach us the art of savoring.
I like the definition of pleasure.
p. 55 - pleasure, not will power and coertion, is how you most deeply transform people.
I understand. I know the times I've changed are after times of feeling such pleasure or joy in being accepted as I am with no pressure to grow or change. I felt so comfortable to be me that I wanted to grow to become a better me - I also wanted to learn to pass that transforming acceptance on to others. I pray that my touch will expand people to become who God created them to be.
p. 55 - Thomas Aquinas also taught that people are changed more by pleasure than by anything else.
Agreed.
Chapter 3: Humility as Earthiness: Our Earthiness as a Blessing along with Passion and Simplicity
p. 59 - The word "humility" comes from the word humus or earth. In the creation tradition, then, to be humble means to be in touch with the earth, in touch with one's own earthiness, and to celebrate the blessing that our earthiness, our sensuality, and our passions are.
I like the definitions and how to practice that earthy type of humility. I've always viewed myself as a semi-earth mother... thought it was a result of the flower-power & peace era when I grew up. Yet, since I can't grow a thing (maybe a few dandelions in the yard) and have only recently started learning about earth ecology - it seems odd that I'd see myself as an earth-mother. But I like it.
p. 60 - While the ascetic tradition would control the stallion in each of us by cutting off a leg or by putting a hundred-pound sack of potatoes on its back, Meister Eckhart advises a bridle of love. Don't cut back on the passion, we are urged; rather learn to make it work for you, to take you and the community into arenas where it needs to go. The bridle for itself, is a loving bridle, not an instrument of torture or of punishment.
That is so new that I'm still thinking about it. Hopefully the author will expand on that in the book.
p. 62 - So undualistic is Jewish spirituality - the spirituality from which Jesus sprang - that in hebrew there does not even exist a word for body or for soul. .. For the Jews, the carnal is not opposed to the spiritual.
I like that. I've liked that since I started to grasp the concept of holistic living. At my last spiritual direction meeting, I told the priest when I grow up I want to be a Jewish-Quaker. Part of the reason for the Jewish desire is to live in a community who are holistic and not fighting inside for which "part" will dominate - to not even be aware of that inner division that plagues me so much (so I presume it does others). It seems a person who has come to that holistic shalom - that they would exude that to others and it would be catching. Of course, there is also the ezer kenegdo of Jewish faith which, unfortunately, isn't practiced in how the doctrine was presented. The Quaker portion is because I like their contemplative stance and their ability to non-violently cause change in the depths of the evils of the world. Historically, if something good has happened in the Western world - look to the Quakers to be the humble fire that lit the kindling. If I'm not using the inner energy for the inner battle of body - spirit thinking; then that energy can be used to peacefully offer people the dignity of doing what is right. I even know my "pet project" where I want to take a stand for what is right. A mountain to take a stand on; a cause worth dying for is worth living for.
p. 63 - Body and soul, she [Julian of Norwich] declares, form a "glorious union," and our holy sensuality begins at the very moment of our original blessing. "It is when our soul is breathed into our body that we are made sensual." "Let each of them, take help from the other." Mutuality is the key, not control and one upmanship.
I like the idea of mutuality - of the both/and thinking. I am a spirit/soul and I live in a body. The Incarnation was a spirit moving into an earth-suit to show us how to live. So how can I even want to put one aspect higher then the other? I think of Genesis 1:31, "God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good." Me being two parts: an earth suit and a God-breathed soul are good in Father's site. I like this painting of the creation of Adam: http://www.genesissecretsrevealed.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/creating_adam.jpg
Yet, I see creation a bit earthier then this; and I don't see God sitting on a cloud touching the man made from mud. I see God kneeling in the mud, carefully crafting the first human all the while he has a big smile - not only from the sensuous experience of warm mud gushing between his fingers, but from the pure delight creating with his senses gives him. It is such a different process than speaking the rest of creation into being. As a child I enjoyed making mud-pies and Mom kept a bucket of dirt so we could make mud pies and cook them in a slow oven in cold winter. I enjoyed the process and I'm sure God enjoyed the process; how can I say that - because I'm made in His image.
p. 63 - God does not stand on the sidelines of our struggle with being whole; God for Julian actually constitutes the "glue" or the salvific and whole-making power of our wholeness. "God is the mean which keeps the substances and the sensuality together, so that they will never separate."
For me this points to the Incarnation. Christ as fully God; Christ as fully man. Christ in me; me in Christ. Trinitarian love made manifest. How can God stand on the sidelines when we're intimately joined - as close as or maybe even closer then the molecular bonding that keeps me from flying apart into nothingness? My university chemistry professor said God is the energy of covalent bonding that keeps us intact. I've never tried to prove or disprove it, but thought it was a powerful concept. Colossians 1:17 says, "in him all things are held together." Maybe the molecular structure of Laminin shouts this truth?
I didn't realize how much this teaching is affecting me until I reread an e-mail to a friend. I'd practically summarized everything here in a message today. I'm loving this stuff. I'm loving learning. I'm loving God.
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Daily Office Update. I'm still loving the morning office. I've been sick the past two weeks and have been faithful to the morning office and eventually gave myself permission to hit and miss the others and spend time in relaxing and healing. I decided to add the evening and night office as my Lent journey. I'm already very proficient at self-punishment and self-denial; so my priest suggested for Lent instead of giving up something, to add something beneficial. I've followed his suggestion for a few years. I'm glad I'm now liturgical because I love the seasons of the church year. I find each one builds on the previous one. I can't imagine what it would be like if I'd been liturgical with intentionality over the decades of being a Christian and how deep the seasons would be.
