It may seem an odd topic for Easter, but I've been thinking about a topic my priest brought up at spiritual direction. He asked if my reading of Richard Rohr is why I chose Franciscan. I said I didn't think it did; that does not minimize the impact this wonderful author/speaker has had on my spiritual formation.
As I think of being a Franciscan, I think of finding God in nature, of loving all created things (and God created everything), of humbly being a guide on the side to those God sends alongside me (2 Cor 1.4). Maybe instead of guide on the side to view myself as a gardener who nurtures so the plants become healthy specimens of what they were created to be. I think of being a peacemaker. I think of humility. I think of living in the now. I think of simplicity. I think of poverty. I think of celibacy. I think of great passion for Jesus. I think of faith so great it is shown in empathy, compassion, simplicity, gentleness and kindness - of being fully in the now (or at least growing that skill-set and attitude). Not great exploits for God but continual love-giving in the small things... not only to others but towards self. I know obedience is part of a Franciscan's vows and I'm not sure how that works as a tertiary - but I like that idea. Just as I had a 12-step sponsor to "obey" as I learned to embrace sober thinking and greater sobriety; I can see obedience to the right hierarchy become instrumental in my spiritual formation.
As mentioned above, I love the teaching of Franciscan Richard Rohr. As I view him, I see a scholar and teacher. I don't know a lot about the various orders, but I would see him more as a Jesuit or Dominican then a Franciscan. That probably shows my ignorance and possibly erroneous expectations; but it is a step to understanding and growth so I'm okay with being wrong; after all, accepting not-knowing is the first step to starting-to-know. Being a Kansas with a Germanic lineage, Rohr's practicality meshes nicely with my world view so I feel able to receive from him. Plus, he hasn't said anything I haven't heard from the pulpit since becoming Anglican (well, except never heard my parish priest explain what to do with condensed milk). Okay, that's some of my off-beat humour - it's Easter, I can shout Alleluia and enjoy some goofiness.
So, who's influenced me to "try on" the discipline of St. Francis to see if it will work for my spiritual growth? I'll mention them below while balancing that with anonymity for these people.
(1) The movie, "Brother Son, Sister Moon" was a big impact. Jesus said we have to be like little children to enter the kingdom. I loved the childlike faith, the trust, the exuberance, the non-traditional approach Francis had towards life and ministry. His humility lead those who followed. I sense his thought life was not a heavy anchor holding him back; and I covet that freedom of using thoughts instead of thoughts using me.
(2) A local Franciscan man's life has impacted me. He is a scholar and teacher. He is very giving and caring for the many children he sponsors in third-world countries and his caring goes far beyond just writing a check. Jesus washed feet; for a couple of years this man cooked, served and washed dishes at the parish I attend - and he's not even a member there. When I lived in Oklahoma, I had a woman pastor who had a teaching gift as strong as his; she was able to talk about how that gift often hindered her pastoral ministry, marriage and healthy friendships; understanding her struggles (thank God she could articulate them) has helped me view people with a strong teaching gift with more compassion then I'd normally have.
(3) When I was pregnant with my first child, we spent Palm Sunday weekend at Catholic University in Washington DC. My children's father had been deeply impacted by a Capuchin (an offshoot of Franciscan) priest who had been his National Guard chaplain and who was completing his doctorate. Some of the things he believed didn't set right with me (like to honor his collar when he went to strip clubs he put a $20 in the dancer's G-string instead of the traditional $1) but as he gave us a tour of Mary Queen of the Universe cathedral and talked about life as a monk, I was intrigued. I realized he was deeper then a party animal. Hopefully the part that disgusted me became resolved for him as he matured and came to understand his vow of poverty and chastity. My second son was named after this Capuchin. I went to google where is he now teaching (was in the Vatican for a while) and discovered he has died. Thank God for the resurrection.
(4) One of the volunteer priests in my parish has a Franciscan bent. I watch as he cleans tables, washes dishes, cooks and serves. He goes through the trash for recycling and answers questions on being ecologically responsible. He's mentioned a hobby is camping so I extrapolate he finds God especially close in nature.
(5) The viruses who share this "earth suit" have had an impact on choosing the Franciscan way. I've mentioned that before in this blog, so won't rewrite it. But the 39,000,001 of us who share this flesh and blood body are trying to negotiate friendship and cooperation. My last quarter's blood tests are the best they have been in a while and the cancer markers fell 4 points. Sounds like a win-win to me. Thus, being ecologically responsible just meshes with Franciscan spirituality.
(6) Like most of the Western world, I have had my eyes on Pope
Francis. As I thought of the media blitz, it reminded me of Princess
Diana's press coverage from her engagement forward. The press loved her
so people loved her. I pray Pope Francis can continue with the spark of
hope his life is showing and that he's genuine and not a figment of the
press's blitz. Even my Pentecostal and Salvation Army friends are
watching and reading about this humble leader. It reminds me once again
of why St. Paul tells us to pray for leaders. As a newby to understanding the various religious orders, I view Pope Francis more with his chosen name then with his chosen order. I've been impressed with his humility. I've been impressed with his willingness to step outside the box and act like Jesus - who stepped outside his religious perimeters to take liturgy from the temple to the river Jordan where he was baptized by John. St. Francis certainly stepped outside the box of traditional religion to practice his faith -- without Him, Christmas would be celebrated much differently.
(7) As far as I know, one of my most inspirational Franciscan spiritual mentors is not a Franciscan or even has taken tertiary orders; she was raised plain-clothed Quaker. What I've seen of this young woman's life embodies what I understand of Francis's teachings. This Kentuckiana woman is proactive in ministering to the poor, wounded and hurting. She is a charismatic, world-changing leader. She passes out dignity to others like a politician passing out handshakes. She is active in her local church and while employed there as church administrator (I think that was title) she introduced contemplation, prayer walks and new ways of cuddling closer to God. She is very inclusive; very -- she flabbergasted me with her universal acceptance of people - just where they were. She leads but with gentleness and trusting God to work in each person in His timing. She is very present in her conversation, her writing, in her caring. She has developed her art, her mind, her inner-life that shows in her love-walk. It was through her friendship online and later in person, that gave me an example of Christian growth and awakened the fire within to move in that direction.
(8) My dear friend on the other side of the island has been an inspiration to me. She has taught me acceptance; especially self-acceptance where I can laugh at myself. I imagine Francis with a big smile and enjoying life, camaraderie and taking time apart to enjoy solo time with Father God. She has taught me about vulnerability and boundaries and allowing God to be strong in me.
(9) My 12-step sponsor, is certainly not Franciscan but her life exhibits many of his qualities. As a single adult, she has adopted and fostered many special needs children and loved and parented them. She has buried several of the children. She talked about missing them; at other times, she would laugh that they must make quite a site when going to church or shopping: with three in wheelchairs and three needing special care to not get lost and wander away plus one "normal" child - who often caused more stress then her six special needs children. Even with her busy life, she made time for me for long daily e-mails. She knew I didn't have addictions because I had healthy coping strategies; but because I needed to see myself as God sees me. To do that, I had to learn God was not the mean deity of my childhood but a loving, involved, caring, cherishing Father. She started me on the journey to both sobriety and recovery. She earned my trust to show me who I am and to realize at the core of me is God. The more I know me, the more I know God; the more I know God, the more I know me. Day after day for six years, she corresponded and listened to my petty problems and helped me learn to perceive them in a more eternal light. She could perceive who I was and gently guide me in that direction which catching all the tricks an addict uses to get back into their addiction - and firmly helping me be proactive in my own self-life so I could walk-out of the self-harming behaviours. Eventually she knew it was time for her fledgling bird to be kicked out of the nest. I miss her, but I trust she used wisdom and God's guidance. She taught me to like and befriend myself. She knew my warpedness was so deep that only the Holy Spirit could change me; she had me memorize passages and chapters of the Bible to replace those deep and erroneous perceptions. The cleansing of the holy Word washed away that wrong thinking and taught me Abba Yhwh (Daddy God).
(10) I can't forget my friend who daily and sometimes more then daily helped me during the first year I was single. She held my hand, wiped my tears, laughed with me, cried with me, encouraged me, inspired me.. but mostly she was there for me in a way that I needed at that time. Then God moved her to Ontario so I'd have to depend on Him and not on her. God is good.
(11) Last, but certainly not least, is my Benedictine priest, confessor and spiritual director; who has encouraged me to grow and expand in the practice of my faith; and who is very present during spiritual direction. He was also very encouraging when I discussed becoming Franciscan.
Thank you to those who have been lights along the path of my life; may God bless you. Typing those made me realize how very, very blessed I am. God has blessed me with many mentors to help with my Christian growth.
Easter blessings,
Debbie
