"And the Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be by himself: I will make one like himself as a help to him..... And the Lord God sent a deep sleep on the man, and took one of the bones from his side while he was sleeping, joining up the flesh again in its place: And the bone which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman, and took her to the man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh: let her name be Woman because she was taken out of Man. For this cause will a man go away from his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they will be one flesh. And the man and his wife were without clothing, and they had no sense of shame." Genesis 2:18, 22-25; BBE)
I read a good book a few years ago by T. D. Jakes entitled "Naked but Not Ashamed." If I recall correctly he talked about the balance of walking in the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, etc.) while still being authentically vulnerable as ourselves - with naked, unmasked honesty and openness. But I want to talk about this topic from another direction: physical self-acceptance.
Here's how I see it:
Adam awoke from the God-ordained surgical sleep and saw Eve. Adam said, "Wow! Thank you, God. This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." I doubt if Adam compared Eve to the cattle of the fields, the birds of the air or the fish in the sea and since she was the first woman there was no other female of their kind to compare her to. I imagine when he saw her for the first time, his eyes practically popped out of his head. I recall reading my sons the Seventh Day Adventist Bible books for children. If I recall correctly, Adam looked like a Ken doll; Eve had a beautiful face, slender body with bikini portions hidden behind foliage and her long, blonde hair blowing across her face. Could be a Hollywood movie with picture perfect people in a picture perfect garden. Or maybe the picture depicted was from Hitler's Aryan dream? After all, many photos show my beautiful Savior looking more Aryan then Hebrew with straight blondish hair and blue eyes when chances are he would have been dark olive skinned with black curly hair and twinkling brownish-black eyes.
The new first couple had one advantage modern people don't have. They hadn't been programmed by media and societal dictates of what qualified as beauty. I imagine when we think of the "perfect" first couple that we mentally visualize what our society and culture has brainwashed us to believe. Having been raised in the US, that would be Ken and Barbie. The man a head taller then the woman with thick hair, square jaw, ears tight to the head, full lips, smooth shaved, wide straight shoulders, erect posture, narrow hips, slight buttock curve, long slim legs and a flat tummy. Barbie, is similar only with exaggerated feminine characteristics.
When I taught at university, I had several conversations with a student from an African country where the ideal woman was over 400 pounds although his culture preferred slenderness in men. He said it showed the man provided well for his woman if she could gain weight and the bigger the better.... even if she got too heavy to walk, then the man would hire men to carry her on a litter so she could move from place to place. In fact he asked me if my husband beat me because I was so scrawny that I would be a shame to my husband and family. I feel positive that his view of Adam and Eve's appearance would be much different then the story book drawing.
I was bemoaning my currently unpopular body style of narrow shoulders, wide hips and pillow thighs to a friend. His comment was I have to remember my genealogy and body style show Southern European stock. He said Northern European women tend to have broader shoulders, narrow hips and slender legs but the further south the narrow shoulders and wide hips and pillow thighs had historically been the preferred style. I realize when I look at fine art that there are various styles of the human females reclining nude or almost nude. I hadn't thought of the degrees of latitude having any affect on which female body style was painted; but apparently it did impact the choice of model or the artistic license to create the image to fit societal norms. Jennifer Lopez is making wide hips and fannies popular once again; her Latino heritage has prized that body shape for generations or longer.
So why are so many modern women ashamed, even when standing before their beloved, when naked? Probably some of that is when we were young and our parents taught us modesty that we didn't understand modesty and body shame aren't the same thing - there are times when modesty can be thrown out the window and we can enjoy the Adam and Eve attitude of celebrating our physical differences. There are times others have given us erroneous feedback and made us feel inadequate and undeserving to spend time in the buff even with a beloved. Our own harsh self-evaluation of how we "stack-up" against others can play a powerful role in body shame.
So what can we do about it? We can realize the "ideal" isn't a body style but an attitude of not being ashamed but celebrating who we are, where we've been, where we're going and the wonderful experiences life has given us to help us become the person we are today; and how we continue to trust God to bring the right experiences into our life that we'll continue to grow and change until we can be like Adam and Eve. With that attitude, when we look at our partner we can stand comfortably naked and say to each other, "Wow! Thank you, God. This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh."... and keep that joyful expectancy for the rest of our lives even as the ravages of time change the "packaging" we live in to have sags, bags, wrinkles, glasses, hearing aids, false teeth, thin hair. sagging shoulders, drooping derriere and parchment skin. Where we can enjoy the journey of life and be naked and vulnerable and not ashamed.
So, make a stand within yourself and refuse to let society continue to keep you feeling inadequate and ugly because we don't meet up to somebody else's ideal. God created us - and he says over and over in Genesis "and it was GOOD." He created me to live in this body; therefore, He says it's GOOD. I chose to believe God's evaluation rather than society's, especially the media's perverted depiction of cookie-cutter women who need cosmetic surgery, trainers, special lighting, hair extenders, botox shots and PhotoShop until the photos no longer look like the original model......
It's a good thing God is omnipotent. Can you imagine arriving at the Pearly Gates and he looks at you and says, You can't come in - I don't recognize you. You give your name again and he says, But I created you with these characteristics and you don't look anything like that so you can't possibly be who you say you are.
I've often wondered how I would respond if I got to the Pearly Gates and the only question God asked me was, "Did you enjoy the life I gave you....." and all I could think of was how I wanted a different life where I fit my society's dictates of beauty, how I wanted to not have my dad die in front of me when I was a child, how I wanted a marriage of longevity and that didn't happen, how I wanted this and that and the other thing. I decided I was wasting my happiness by regrets and resentments. I decided to take control of my own joy and happiness and live in that attitude. It took practice and I still practice it daily to stay out of the self-pity. But I am learning to love my life and part of my life is this body I live in and enjoy my life through - so I am slowly learning to celebrate that, too.
For today, I'm going to celebrate the way God chose to create me! Thank you, Father, for making me me! Help me learn to agree and confirm what you said.. "and it was GOOD."
