It's been a while since I've posted in my blog. It's been a
while since I've been on facebook, too. Maybe I graduated to
another grade in the school of life where I can enjoy a few minutes on facebook and
feel I do not have to spend an hour or more. Whatever it is, I love this new time of
life. I love life's freedom. I love life.
I'll start off-topic and then get on topic. In this blog, I've often talked that I currently
don't fear death - and my priest has assured me that is wonderful but when that
future time gets near and I'm staring it in the face that I may have fear; he
said if I do to not hide it from my supportive friends but talk about it.
No stoic stuff trying to keep that mindset. Good advice (like usual).
The first week of December I was in the hospital, I didn't
have the energy to even think - just breathing and holding my clinging cross and
stuffed moose was all the energy I had. Most of that week and the following two
weeks was like extended contemplation. It was wonderful and worth the
"tuition" of illness to have gone through it. God was more real to me then I am to myself.
It was a wonderful experience. It still lingers at times and I feel very
blessed to have not only the joy and peace that I've been given for several
years, but now I also sense a growing contentedness - not based on exterior
happenings but inner movements.
1 Timothy 6:6 says:
(KJV) But
godliness with contentment is great gain.
(NLT) Yet true
godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.
(MSG) A devout life does bring wealth, but it's the
rich simplicity of being yourself before God.
I was often puzzled by these verses because it seems like
another thing to add to my check list that God expects me to do. I'm grateful I'm
letting go of that mind set but I think of these things now as hope and a "warning"
that God is working to achieve these things while I get a front row seat as He
works it in me.
Yet, I didn't do anything to achieve this new phenomenon of
contentment. It doesn't seem I have any control over it staying or going; nor does that cause me to feel vulnerable. While
I was flat on my back God gave me contentedness - I didn't see God coming but I
sure know He was there by the beautiful gift of contentment.
The day before I was released from the hospital, another doctor used
sonogram to know where to put the needle in my back to remove the fluid from my lung. He
removed 1,500 ml (6.3 cups). When I got home the next day, I discovered I was
28 pounds lighter - that was a lot of fluid. Tests since then have shown all
but two tiny cysts have disappeared, other tests are moving towards normal and
I'm slowly regaining my energy.
I stand amazed at the way God continues to move in my life. I'm grateful
God has me going through life's little inconveniences and annoyances and He rewards
that by giving me His wonderful, eternal heavenly antidote.
I am taking daily diuretics as a preventative of this happening again
and that seems to work well. I am also receiving daily heavenly meds of greater
joy, peace and contentment. I trust myself to take my daily pill meds. I trust
Him to bring me my daily heavenly meds. He's growing me up!I'm so grateful to be His child.
