The first friend I remember having as a
child is Janeen. I introduced her to her husband of ... 44 years married!!!!
Wow. How time flies. I remember the BRC, Girl Scouts, twirling,
playing dolls, your horse, riding bicycles, unscrewing the odometer
so Mom wouldn't punish me, playing circus with inner tubes under the dresses we borrowed from our mothers, and your wedding and later babysitting your beautiful little boy. I loved you parents – they were both so
kind, fun and involved – and very much in love with each other and it showed.
After writing yesterday's blog entry,
Janeen asked me “So tell me what is Franciscan?” Great question. What does
becoming Franciscan mean to me. That is a great question as I take my
first steps into this new adventure. Thank you for the great
question, Janeen.
I'm still learning about St. Francis.
He lived in the 12th century. The movie “Brother Sun,
Sister Moon” is about his life. Like many religious orders I've
read about, it includes a vow of poverty, chastity and obedience; and
I'm sure for married Franciscans the chastity has a different
definition but includes enjoying the marital sexual union in a way
that honors the partner and God. I was drawn to this order because of
the focus on ecology, contemplation and sensing the closeness of God
in nature. The area where I may need to grow is in becoming more
active on behalf of those who can not stand up for themselves; or
maybe my lay ministry will count as being active. I found it
interesting the new Roman Catholic Pope was Jesuit but chose Francis
as his Pope name because he likes the Franciscan way. Very
interesting and I pray he can lead like Jesus and like the ministry
of Francis.
This is a new experience for me, so I
have a lot to learn about religious orders and especially being
Franciscan; so what I say may be incorrect; but it is my early
thoughts on what it means to me and how I am interpreting being
Franciscan. I also know this understanding will grow and expand
through my 3 year training.
I have been blessed the past few years
to have a spiritual director; for those who haven't heard that term
(like I hadn't 5 years ago) possibly the term spiritual counsellor
explains it, too. I periodically talk to my pastor/priest about where
I feel lead to go in my Christian walk, where I am struggling and he
gives feedback and suggestions to help me; he asks questions to help
me clarify my thoughts about the spiritual direction of my life and
even guidance on practical things in life that are hindering me
spiritually. It's very holy and holistic. On rare times he gives
correction or asks questions to help me see myself better so I
self-correct with God help. His willingness to walk beside me in my
faith journey, and in becoming Franciscan, is important because his
ministry will help me grow spiritually. We call it spiritual
formation; I think of it as a periodic spiritual health physical; and
as a way to become more formed in the image of Christ. (Rom 8.29)
One of the initial steps is creating my
“Rule of Life” that will become the foundation for future growth.
This Rule has several requirements set by the order and some that are
developed between my spiritual director and I as I tweak my
obligations to fit my work, church and social life.
EUCHARIST: For me, taking Communion,
at least weekly, is imperative and a form of prayer that not only
feeds me spiritually and helps me grow; but helps me recognize the
unity of all believers and helps me feel connected to them.
PENITENCE: To daily examine my life –
not as a way to beat myself up for my mistakes, but to evaluate the
areas where I need growth and work on them as God leads. A component
of this is forgiving others and repenting and forgiving myself. I
find annual confession helpful – I know God has already forgiven
me, but talking to my confessor gives me an incentive to keep growing
even when it's hard. It also feels very cleansing to hear someone I
respect hear my worst thoughts, behavior and actions and reaffirm God
has forgiven me and to continue to treat me with love, respect and
dignity. He doesn't validate the sin or what lead me into sin; but
validates me as a beloved daughter of God.
PERSONAL PRAYER: I am slowly adding
part of the Divine Office (Daily Office or Liturgy of the Hours) into
my prayer life. I'm moving at a slow and comfortable rate. I like
this method of prayer as when I pray these set prayers, I realize
thousands or possibly millions of Christians around the world are
praying the same prayers throughout the day and it helps me realize
“church” is more then my local body or the people I feel affinity
with who are in my local body of believers. It also reminds me that
through the centuries that Christians have said these same set
prayers and it helps me realize that the “church” is more than
just the currently alive and walking on earth body, or the people of
my denomination; but the sisters and brothers who are in Heaven and
those who are yet unborn but called to Him. Since Jesus and the early
Christians had set times of prayer through the Jewish faith, I feel
united with Christ as I pray at set times. I still have personal
prayer of fellowship with God and intercessory prayer for those God
lays on my heart. Francis was a Christian mystic and I enjoy
Christian meditation and contemplation and find it expands my faith.
As I grow into more of the various prayer times, it seems it would be
a bit more difficult to fall into sin when I am in the habit of
stopping life to get away with God every few hours. I'm not sure how
many of the prayers my Rule of Life will include, but that will be a
discovery. When I first started these prayers, I was curious if they
would become monotonous and rote; that hasn't happened (except
occasionally); but usually the prayers grow in depth and get down
deep in my heart and change me – which often changes my perception
of the personal requests I bring to God.
SELF-DENIAL: This is a way to grow
spiritually by telling myself no; and also by saying yes to others.
Spiritual direction is helpful in this area because my spiritual
director can give feedback and as an experienced director, can see
traps ahead and help me guard myself from mistakes. Another part of
this is accepting feedback for areas of growth.
RETREATS: Often the retreats are
silent retreats. I've attended several and found them very
beneficial. Since I live alone, I wasn't certain how I'd manage a
silent retreat – to be surrounded by people and keeping mum. I
found I loved the companionship of quiet. I found it comfortable and
bonding. It has helped me find God in the quiet places of my life...
or maybe by becoming aware of God in the quiet places of my life has
helped me find God in a community of quiet or even times of noise.
Since I sense the presence of God in nature – along the coast, in
the mountains, in the breeze and taste of salt air; I feel positive
that some quiet retreats will be day trips or half day trips on the
trails – with maybe some encouragement and friendliness shared with
others on the remote trails in my beautiful Newfoundland. I may not
be talking to God, but I will be sensing Him and that awareness of
God will follow me back to the bustle of life and work. I also find
God when driving on the freeway and when I lived in Tulsa, I`d often
put the top down on my Miata and drive the almost deserted freeway
downtown in the cool of a hot summer`s night and pulled into the
driveway feeling braced and embraced; I doubt if that will become
part of my Rule of Life... ;-)
STUDY: My father taught us girls the
joy of learning and I've carried that through my life. I am very
grateful for that. I have about 40 linear feet of books (mostly
Christian) in my bookshelves. I have given away hundreds of books.
Now I have the internet and a Kindle. I love to learn – not just
from books but from others and from life. As I start to learn about
Francis and religious orders, I find the whole process of learning
this new topic delightful; yet it's more then the thrill of learning,
because I can see how practical this learning can be used in my daily
life. This will be an enjoyable aspect of becoming Franciscan and I
am willing to have my spiritual director to assist or require
specific reading to help me grow.
SIMPLICITY OF LIVING: Even though I
live modestly, there are many ways my life becomes devoid of
simplicity. Many of those are in my thought life: my home is
relatively neat and organized but my inner life, my thought life and
my emotional life, is often chaotic and cluttered. One thing
mentioned in my reading is a hindrance to simplicity is spending time
trying to meet “belonging” needs. Over the past few years I have
come to acceptance on being single; however, since the New Year, I
have found deep contentment in being solo. Not sure if that is for
the rest of my life or for a period of time; but I being single sets
well with my soul so it is no issue whichever. Life seems much more
serene and simple with letting go of my need for belonging and
realizing I belong to God and am blessed to have several good friends
who will be there for me and they are women I love and trust and they
love and trust me. I've also found being solo in a married world
makes it even more of a miracle to have a few married-couple friends.
Yet, I also know if any of these people would move away or walk away
that I would grieve the loss, but I wouldn't loose the sense of who I
am. Their loss would hurt on many levels; but it wouldn't wound my
sense of self. Yet, I am sure I will discover many other areas where
I can grow in Simplicity. Not sure how simplicity and humility fit
together, but I think they are cousins.
WORK: It seems Franciscans have a
broad definition of work for Tertiary (Third Order) Franciscans.
Third order are those who do not join a monastic order but live in
the outside world independently and/or in families; work at jobs and
serve God including their Franciscan Rule of Life. Work for Third
Order Franciscans includes what we do to earn money, but also what we
do to be Christ's hands extended in our family, church, community,
country and world. This is an area where I think being a Franciscan
will help me grow. So often there are things I want to do as a lay
person to show Christ's love and I procrastinate or let it fall
through the cracks and it doesn't materialize. I think this will give
me the accountability I need to achieve what I haven't been able to
self-motivate to do. That will mean people who help me on this
journey will be Christ's hands extended to me to help me become
rooted in this discipline. In time, hopefully God will use me to help
others.
OBEDIENCE: This will include meeting
the above obligations and a few others that I will accept when/if I
become Franciscan.
Three topicss seemed to recur:
Accountability, Outreach and Humility.
Accountability: Being single and living
far from family, I know I need the church community to help me not
become self focused but keep expanding my life for a more
spacious-in-God life.
Outreach: This touches on both
Accountability and Motivation to follow through on desires and goals
that I felt were planted by God.
Humility: Maybe Surrender is a more
accurate word. I know God is enough; however, I have come to
recognize that I need the feedback of others to help me stay on the
path towards God. Not people who will run my life; but people who
care enough about me to be open to observing me and giving valid and
valued feedback – even when it may make me cry. The reason I feel
this is humility and/or surrender is because I could go the rest of
my life thinking I can hear accurately from God and possibly
shipwreck my life (been there done that – learned some lessons)
(Proverbs 15:22 and more).
Franciscans come in various
denominations. I use to think of their order as strictly Roman
Catholic (and concrete statues of Francis in the garden with a bird
on his finger); but have discovered many denominations have
Franciscans. The Catholic/Orthodox tradition: Roman, Greek,
Russian, England, etc; but also in other denominations. Although
it's not the Missouri Synod, Janeen, there are Lutheran Franciscans:
http://lutheranfranciscans.org/Home.html
The first book I read on Francis is "Chasing Francis" and is a novel, not about his life but how practical the Franciscan lifestyle is to today's culture. It's worth a read for any who like to read or would want to read about St. Francis.
Great question, thank you for having me
put my thinking cap on.
God bless you, Janeen, and thank you once again for the great questions.
