Step 12: Being Emptied: Letting Pain be pain: Kenosis
p. 141 - When Christ was in pain, we were in pain. All creatures of God's creation that can suffer pain suffered with him. The sky and the earth failed at the time of Christ's dying because he too was part of nature. - Julian of Norwich.
I like what Julian of Norwich says. What an enlightened woman. I can see why she is under consideration sainthood and to become a doctor of the church. I find it interesting that Roman Catholic women can't become priests, yet four women are now Doctors of the Church.
p. 141 - It would seem that our culture is not well adapted to deal with pain. Pain is today's unmentionable reality, much as sex was unmentionable in the Victorian period. And pain is everywhere--deep, ineffable, unfathomable, cosmic pain. And it needs to be named for what it is so that we can pray our pain, i.e. enter into it.
I like what the author says. It's so easy to ignore or minimize pain to not have to sit with it (or pray our pain as the author says). I wish the Bible gave more concrete examples of how Jesus prayed his pain. He wept when Lazaruth died and he sweat tears of blood in Gethsemane - but the Bible says so minimal about Christ's inward journey that it is easy to think of it as a "doing" journey and not a "being" journey. That mindset pulls me into right/wrong, black/white, good/bad mindset that isn't healthy or productive.
p. 142 - Love your enemies. Pain is our enemy, but that is no excuse to run from embracing it, kissing it long enough so that we might truly let go of it. There is no way to let go of pain without first embracing it and loving it--not as pain but as a sister and brother in our dialectical living of both pleasure and pain. Eros does not come without a price.
I understand the author's thoughts on embracing something so we can let it go.
I have been thinking of ways to embrace my pain in a particular relationship mentioned yesterday, so I can let it go. Sitting there and listening I can sometimes use a meditative style of letting it go overhead and not grabbing it but releasing it as soon as it hits; my concern is that I'll let everything this person says float overhead and not be able to participate or hear even healthy communication.
Other times, it sneaks in and pierces me in the old wounds and the skin next to the tough scars is torn and causes new woundedness.
The only options I see today are (1) running from the pain; (2) hiding from the pain; (3) being a martyr to the pain; (4) partially protecting myself so the pain isn't constant but intermittent as I can handle it.
An online friend suggested spiritual direction to help me evaluate options, find new options and work through this fiendish situation.
p. 142 - First comes the embrace, the allowing of pain to be pain; next comes the journey with the pain; then the letting go, but in a deliberate manner, into a fire, into a cauldron where the pain's energy will serve us. And finally comes the benefit we do indeed derive from having burned this fuel. Pain is meant to give us energy.
I found this interesting, especially the timing. A friend from across the pond and I made paper rulers and burned them at 12:30 GMT. These were symbolic of the times we have measured ourselves unfairly and unjustly, the times we've felt measured inaccurately. For me, it's a putting away of self-condemnation and taking up new self-gentleness. It's embracing that pain and letting it go.
p. 143 - pain helps us to understand other people in pain. Pain is profoundly social, it is eminently shareable, and it is no coincidence that the privatizing of pain, the covering up of pain in our culture, parallels the privatizing of body and pleasure and spirituality in our culture and religions. A healthy experience of letting pain be pain is always a schooling in compassion. For when a person has suffered deeply even once and has owned that suffering, that person can never forget and never fail to recognize the pain of others. Pain is the most legitimate school for compassion that I know of.
I can relate with that. The times of immense pain; are the times when my ability to recognize and speak compassion soared. I've even eventually found compassion for the ones who caused me pain. Many times I've found ways to stay in a limited relationship with those who continue to cause me pain and I am rewarded because of that... not only for my self-protective boundaries but by the limited friendship I can embrace.
p. 143 - pain helps us to understand pleasure and to criticize it. ... allowing us to experience how the true pleasures in our lives are of the simplest, most shareable kind.
I understand and agree with that. Pain slows us down inside so we can experience those simple pleasure and often share them with others.
p. 144 - pain enlivens us and gives us energies that embarking on pain and making that journey toughens us up.
There are times I worry that if I get any tougher that I'll be impenetrable like shoe leather. How do you toughen up and keep a heart of compassion?
The two ideas of toughening and of growing in compassion seem at odds to me at this time in my journey.
p. 145 - men who discover their gentle sides in our culture is, that too often these men mistake gentleness for passivity and weakness. Sensitivity, which includes sensitivity to pain, also demands strength. A new kind of strength, it is true; the strength of endurance and perseverance; the strength that solitude requires; the strength that vulnerability is about. This strength does not come from willing it or gritting our teeth. It comes from undergoing pain--unwished-for, unplanned, unhearalded pain. There is a strength learned from suffering that cannot be learned any other way. For suffering tests the depth of our love of life and relationship even when and especially because relationships are so often the cause of our suffering.
Gender Bias Alert: I think women are better equipped to embrace pain. We're the ones who go through pms, cramps, pain of first intercourse, labour, delivery, hot flashes, etc. The physical pain associated with being female helps us develop compassion. Then there is the emotional pain of being female: the glass ceiling and the "good-ol'-boys" club at work, the wolf whistles and cat calls that objectify us, rape, abuse, etc. Although I had sons, I'm sure there is pain of seeing our female offspring suffer through the same problems of being female in a male dominate society.
Even with all that, I am grateful to be female. I am grateful to have felt the monthly life and death forces within me - the dying ovum and the pain of my body and emotions for not having conceived and the pain of cramps; or the pain of having conceived to bring forth a child. The emotional, hormonal and physical pain of menopause when our bodies lose their ability to re-create - an issue men never face since they stay fertile as long as they live. I can't imagine living in a body that had not experienced those life and death forces. The bonding those experiences have with other women and gay friends who empathize.
p. 145 - suffering is the manner in which letting pain be pain links us with others. All social movements and organization were born of pain. Not privatized pain or pain kept to oneself or the wallowing in one's own pain, but pain shared.
I have been very blessed because I have an online community and we work through our pain together. It has helped me be open to others in new ways. It has given me a more egalitarian outlook and a humbler attitude about what I know and don't know... and I don't know nearly as much as I once thought I did. ;-D
The parish I attend has started a grief support and a depression support group. I think that is wonderful. There is almost no support groups for what I was going through so I am thankful I found online. I want to write a book to share my story to help others heal. I had 50 chapters of 180 chapter devotional completed when my computer crashed. I took it in stride, I'm sure a re-do will just be better because I've continued to grow as a compassionate woman.
p. 146 - Some suffering--that which leads to birthing--can be a blessing
I think all suffering leads to birthing. A few off the top of my head births that I have experienced: growth in interpersonal relationships, becoming less demanding, losing unrealistic expectations and still learning to get rid of expectations so I can experience healthier relationships, learning boundaries, learning the language of compassion, learning to listen more carefully, learning to listen to others pain without offering guidelines unless asked, learning there are safe people and unsafe people, learning to share the pain with one or two people instead of limelighting it, learning where I need to do more boundary work, learning to express my emotions, learning to have limited relationships with some people, learning to love people even when they cause pain, learning to trust God through the pain, learning to trust pain is a teacher, learning pain eventually reduces and stops if I learn the lesson it brings, learning humility because I know I didn't figure these on my own but through God and His children who walked with me in the pain, learning to be strong for myself during pain and to ask for help when I need it.
p. 147 - I must emphasize how important it is that we not glorify pain or cling to our pain or wallow in our pain. That is not letting pain be pain--that way lies letting pain be our boss.
I agree. I also know there are times of reprocessing the pain as I grow in other areas. I am not fearful of those times because I know I will learn and they will pass. It doesn't mean I didn't heal - it just means I am healing at a deeper level. I am currently having some pain because a court order issued 2-1/2 years ago was not followed and for my financial future, I have to write and file a contempt of court and do the court thing once again. It is causing me to reprocess a very difficult and painful time of my life.
But I know the One who has laid it on my heart to not let this continue to slide but to be proactive. I think it is a good time because I am more healed now and it should not cause too deep of damage. Unfortunately, I feel like a bully for doing this; yet I know it was because the other party did not obey the judge that it has come to this. I wish the court system kept a tracking system and when somebody did not follow the judge's decree, it would automatically be taken care of. Unfortunately, it is the other party who is responsible to assure the other side dots each i and crosses each t. This too shall pass and I will (not might) grow because of it and I will experience a new round of healing... which will give me more joy and peace.
Friday 8 March 2013
Thursday 7 March 2013
"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 2, Step 11
Step 11: Emptying: Letting go of images and letting silence be silence.
p. 135 - For growth of the human person takes place in the dark. Under ground. In subterranean passages. There, where "no image has ever reached into the soul's foundation," God alone works. A light-oriented spirituality is superficial, surface-like, lacking as it does the deep, dark roots that nourish and surprise and ground the large tree.
I like that definition. The more I stay awake to living my life, the more I perceive the darkness and I realize it nourishes me and helps me grow. Darkness - the vitamins of a healthy life. Well, my life isn't 100% healthy but I am making strides. Recognizing the purpose of darkness takes away the fear of it.
p. 135 - The dark is "all that we are afraid of, all that we don't want to see--fear, anger, sex, grief, death, the unknown." The way of the unconscious mind or the "right brain" is the way of darkness. The depths of our being are not all sunlit; to see clearly, we must be willing to dive into the dark, inner abyss and acknowledge the creatures we may find there.
It makes sense the darkness would be right brain - where feelings, intuition and creativity exist. Entering the darkness lets me experience all of me... all of life; and I learn to trust God when I have no intellectual clue what is going on.
p. 135 - It is healthy to reflect on how in fact our lives are already bound in darkness without our having to perform any extraordinary manipulations.
Agreed. Manipulation of self or others is not only confusing, it makes it nigh impossible to recognize truth.
p. 135 - The womb was dark and not fearful.
I like that analogy; yet having carried two sons to term, I question if there was fear towards the end when they were cramped, uncomfortable and hugged very tight by periodic Braxton-Hicks. Yet, the image of being carried in the warm womb, is still a good analogy of finding inner peace - especially peace during the spiritual wildnerness of darkness.
p. 136 - Silence means the letting go of all images -- whether oral ones or auditory ones or visual ones or inner ones or cognitive ones or imaginative ones.
Contemplation is inner silence. Sometimes I find comfort in the hum of voices and machinery nearby - it reminds me my silence is part of something bigger and greater than me and the world. Voices and machinery don't stop just because I stop participating in the noise. Then I let go of the noise, or maybe I become once again as insignificant as the noise, and return to the peace of silence. To float in the womb of God's love - awaiting having new areas of my life being reborn to resemble Christ.
p. 137-138 - the human race cannot continue to afford to flee the darkness and to embrace an Enlightenment that does not include an Endarkenment.
The book was first published in 1983. I think the human race is dividing into those who are willing to look at the darkness, those who are unaware of darkness and those who intentionally shun the darkness. Yet, I think more people are becoming aware there is spirituality in darkness as well as light.
p. 135 - For growth of the human person takes place in the dark. Under ground. In subterranean passages. There, where "no image has ever reached into the soul's foundation," God alone works. A light-oriented spirituality is superficial, surface-like, lacking as it does the deep, dark roots that nourish and surprise and ground the large tree.
I like that definition. The more I stay awake to living my life, the more I perceive the darkness and I realize it nourishes me and helps me grow. Darkness - the vitamins of a healthy life. Well, my life isn't 100% healthy but I am making strides. Recognizing the purpose of darkness takes away the fear of it.
p. 135 - The dark is "all that we are afraid of, all that we don't want to see--fear, anger, sex, grief, death, the unknown." The way of the unconscious mind or the "right brain" is the way of darkness. The depths of our being are not all sunlit; to see clearly, we must be willing to dive into the dark, inner abyss and acknowledge the creatures we may find there.
It makes sense the darkness would be right brain - where feelings, intuition and creativity exist. Entering the darkness lets me experience all of me... all of life; and I learn to trust God when I have no intellectual clue what is going on.
p. 135 - It is healthy to reflect on how in fact our lives are already bound in darkness without our having to perform any extraordinary manipulations.
Agreed. Manipulation of self or others is not only confusing, it makes it nigh impossible to recognize truth.
p. 135 - The womb was dark and not fearful.
I like that analogy; yet having carried two sons to term, I question if there was fear towards the end when they were cramped, uncomfortable and hugged very tight by periodic Braxton-Hicks. Yet, the image of being carried in the warm womb, is still a good analogy of finding inner peace - especially peace during the spiritual wildnerness of darkness.
p. 136 - Silence means the letting go of all images -- whether oral ones or auditory ones or visual ones or inner ones or cognitive ones or imaginative ones.
Contemplation is inner silence. Sometimes I find comfort in the hum of voices and machinery nearby - it reminds me my silence is part of something bigger and greater than me and the world. Voices and machinery don't stop just because I stop participating in the noise. Then I let go of the noise, or maybe I become once again as insignificant as the noise, and return to the peace of silence. To float in the womb of God's love - awaiting having new areas of my life being reborn to resemble Christ.
p. 137-138 - the human race cannot continue to afford to flee the darkness and to embrace an Enlightenment that does not include an Endarkenment.
The book was first published in 1983. I think the human race is dividing into those who are willing to look at the darkness, those who are unaware of darkness and those who intentionally shun the darkness. Yet, I think more people are becoming aware there is spirituality in darkness as well as light.
"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 2
Path 2: Befriending Darkness, letting go and letting be: The Via Negativa.
p. 130 - When one has sufferened deep pain and allowed the pain to be pain, one can visit the Grand Canyon and learn that it has nothing on the human person who is even deeper and more powerfully carved over millions of years by the flowing tides of pain.
I can understand how pain carves deep wounds; however, the wounds are as beautiful as the grandiosity of the Grand Canyon. Jesus had the deepest wounds as He carried the sins and woundedness of all humanity - and his hands and feet will eternally stand as a beautiful tribute to healed pain.
p. 130 - One could have predicted the loss of the Via Negativa in the West because of the fact that the Via Positiva and a spirituality of pleasure and hospitality were so profoundly silenced for so long. There is no Via Negativa without a Via Positiva. How can one let go of what one has not fallen in love with? The depth of nothingness is directly related to the experience of everythingness.
I can understand this because I was not taught the Via Negativa or Via Positiva; yet, I find both beautiful and an important part of my Christianity as I study them and talk about them with others in my parish. The letting go goes along with what I learned in 12-step, which was a journey that brought me closer to God.
p. 130 - When one has sufferened deep pain and allowed the pain to be pain, one can visit the Grand Canyon and learn that it has nothing on the human person who is even deeper and more powerfully carved over millions of years by the flowing tides of pain.
I can understand how pain carves deep wounds; however, the wounds are as beautiful as the grandiosity of the Grand Canyon. Jesus had the deepest wounds as He carried the sins and woundedness of all humanity - and his hands and feet will eternally stand as a beautiful tribute to healed pain.
p. 130 - One could have predicted the loss of the Via Negativa in the West because of the fact that the Via Positiva and a spirituality of pleasure and hospitality were so profoundly silenced for so long. There is no Via Negativa without a Via Positiva. How can one let go of what one has not fallen in love with? The depth of nothingness is directly related to the experience of everythingness.
I can understand this because I was not taught the Via Negativa or Via Positiva; yet, I find both beautiful and an important part of my Christianity as I study them and talk about them with others in my parish. The letting go goes along with what I learned in 12-step, which was a journey that brought me closer to God.
"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 1, Theme 10
Path 1, Theme 10: Sin, Salvation, Christ from the Perspective of the Via Positiva: A Theology of Creation and Incarnation.
p. 119 - The sinful consciousness that lies behind ecological sin is that of a dualistic mentality that treats other creatures in a subject/object fashion of manipulation and control. This dualism accounts for the sin of putting the egological ahead of the ecological.
As I started to read, I thought of Genesis where God gave man dominion over earth. But what kind of ruler (person with dominion) pollutes and ravages his kingdom? It makes no sense. I understand the egological - the I want what I want and if it pollutes the earth, harms my neighbor, causes pain to others - then the ego does it anyway and lets the chips fall where they may. But a wise person nurtures relationships and ecology and puts the health of all humanity above their own ego needs. Whether that be emotionally, friendship, global or cosmic. We're not the all in all - God is the All in All.
p. 119 - Another sin of omission that is named for us in the Via Positiva is the sin of limiting, always guarding or policing, pleasure. This sin of omitting Eros or love of life from our lives expresses itself in a preference for Thanatos, love of death. Thanatos represents the preoccupation with death, with the putting off of death, or with clinging to death-filled objects. By sinning in this way we refuse to fall in love with life, to love what is lovable, to savor life's simple and non-elitist pleasures, to befriend pleasure, to celebrate the blessings of life, to return thanks for such blessings by still more blessing.
I perceive myself as embracing both Eros and Thanatos. I am learning to love life... but even more surprising and mysterious is I'm learning to love MY life. I'm sure some people would look at my life and wonder why I would love it. It's a simple life that has had a bumpy, painful road and often a life traveled alone, yet seldom have I been lonely as I am a good companion to me and God is a companion. That doesn't mean I don't have some close friends whom I love; because I do and they bring me pleasure and sometimes the pain of growing in deeper relationships.
Yet, I embrace Thanatos in a realistic way. This earth suit is not eternal but has an unknown expiration date. I accept it will wear out and pass away and be planted in the ground to spout for my glorified body that Paul talks about. I can rejoice in that, too. I recognize life at work in my body but I also recognize death there, too: encapsulated and to be released at a future, unknown time. I am accepting of that... I won't say fate but truth since it will happen to all.
Even recognizing the occasional death-pang, that is like Braxton-Hicks contractions to an expectant mother - a reminder of the future change; yet life is good and worth living. I like growing old because my energy is less so I have learned to be more gentle with myself - and that skill can now be graced to others in how I manage my half of relationships.
I didn't even know I could enjoy this life, until I discovered I was ill. It seems there is inverse proportion: the healthier I was the less I enjoyed life and the sicker I become the more I enjoy life. I think part of that is from the old St. Peter at the gate jokes. What if I got to the pearly gate and the only question I was asked to obtain entrance was, "Debbie, did you enjoy the life God gave you?" I'd hem and haw and blush and look at my shoes and say, "Well, I always thought I'd enjoy it when it got better, so it didn't happen. I apologize for wasting my one life on earth." I don't think there is any entrance questions to go through the pearly gates; but that did get me to thinking that if I'm going to enjoy my life - I'd better do it today because there is no guarantee there is a tomorrow or that tomorrow would meet my egocentric criteria for what I needed to enjoy life. I am very grateful for that lesson.
p. 120 - When religion fails to celebrate authentic Eros in our lives, we fall into ersatz pleasures which are subject/object pleasures that can be bought and sold but do not satisfy.
As a recovered addict, I can sooooo relate to that. One of the things I find interesting is when I was in the charismatic circles, we were often taught on how to enjoy life and even how/why to increase the joy of marital relations; yet a lot of what I was taught was egocentric and anti-sin, anti-immaturity. God calls me to the liturgical area of the body and I'm taught how to be more expansive, to mature, to redefine sin to take it out of legalism, but I've heard almost no teaching on enjoying life or sex. It made me chuckle that some of the best teaching I've listened to on sex was from a celibate Catholic priest, Fr. Richard Rohr. Yet, with my almost 10 years of celibacy, I have learned more about my own sexuality then I did in 35 years of marriage. Sometimes the way God teaches makes me giggle.
p. 120 - One scholar tells us that for St. Francis salvation meant "enchanted existence."
Since this blog is my journey into discovering if I am to become Franciscan, I smiled when I saw a quote by St. Francis. I agree with him, living in Christ and having Christ in me is an "enchanted existence."
p. 121 - ... a greater reverence for our uniqueness, and therefore a greater reverence for that of God's other creatures.
I have found that in my life. It started with realizing the more I loved God, the more I loved me and the more I could love others. I came to realize the more I know God, the more I know me and the more I want to know and connect with others. Thus, that sentence helped me realize that the more I reverence my own uniqueness the more I reverence other creatures.
p. 122 - Ironically, Jesus, who comes to announce the presence of the kingdom/queendom of God, is mocked at the end of his life with a crown of thorns and an inscription that he is "king of the Jews." Yet he came not to be king himself--he rejects those temptations in Luke 3:21-4:14 -- but to redefine kingship and to redistribute it so that everyone realizes that he or she is king or queen, a royal person with dignity and responsibility to the cosmos.
Not much to say about that; but I loved the wording and the teaching. It's very appropriate during this Lenten season.
p. 124 - He calls us also to follow him, to guest, host and Eucharist to one another, to be alive, to be eaten and consumed. If every human person is truly made after this person's image, then hospitality becomes the empowerment of every individual: we can all do it, we are reassured. We can trust and our trust will heal us.
I know my priest often talks about this and I love the concept. Yet, there is some fear of stepping off the deep end and participating more in being Eucharist to one another. Yet there are times with people I love and trust that I can do that. But I'm not out of fear enough to have made much progress. But I'm God's craftsmanship, so it is all in His timing and I can trust Him to lead me on the right path.
p. 124 - He [Jesus] chose the way and the lifestyle of the story-teller, the parable-maker who fashions a new creation out of the holy materials of the only creation we all share in common: the birds, the lilies of the field, the fishes caught, the fig tree in bloom, the sheep versus the goats, the leaven in the bread, the mustard seeds of the world, and the rains that fall on the unjust and the just alike. His reverence for nature was so great that the creatures of nature were indeed his teachers, his professors, who he recognized instinctively were looking "on him with affectionate looks" and with truth to tell.
I realize I've often missed Professor bird, Instructor Fish, and Teacher Rain to instruct me. My prayer has been for a more simple life where I become aware and love creation (including people) enough that I can perceive and accept the lessons they teach.
p. 124-125 - He teaches a blessing theology, how to receive blessing and bestow it, that culminates in the blessings of the Beatitudes. He also insists that the blessings are for all, especially the lame and sick, the poor and the widowed. Royal personhood is no longer restricted to any blood line.
I've memorized them, read books, commentaries and heard sermons on the Beatitudes (Matthew 5: 2-17) and I don't get it. The closest it comes to making any sense (but still very little) is from Word on the Street Bible that says:
In God's timing maybe it will happen.
p. 119 - The sinful consciousness that lies behind ecological sin is that of a dualistic mentality that treats other creatures in a subject/object fashion of manipulation and control. This dualism accounts for the sin of putting the egological ahead of the ecological.
As I started to read, I thought of Genesis where God gave man dominion over earth. But what kind of ruler (person with dominion) pollutes and ravages his kingdom? It makes no sense. I understand the egological - the I want what I want and if it pollutes the earth, harms my neighbor, causes pain to others - then the ego does it anyway and lets the chips fall where they may. But a wise person nurtures relationships and ecology and puts the health of all humanity above their own ego needs. Whether that be emotionally, friendship, global or cosmic. We're not the all in all - God is the All in All.
p. 119 - Another sin of omission that is named for us in the Via Positiva is the sin of limiting, always guarding or policing, pleasure. This sin of omitting Eros or love of life from our lives expresses itself in a preference for Thanatos, love of death. Thanatos represents the preoccupation with death, with the putting off of death, or with clinging to death-filled objects. By sinning in this way we refuse to fall in love with life, to love what is lovable, to savor life's simple and non-elitist pleasures, to befriend pleasure, to celebrate the blessings of life, to return thanks for such blessings by still more blessing.
I perceive myself as embracing both Eros and Thanatos. I am learning to love life... but even more surprising and mysterious is I'm learning to love MY life. I'm sure some people would look at my life and wonder why I would love it. It's a simple life that has had a bumpy, painful road and often a life traveled alone, yet seldom have I been lonely as I am a good companion to me and God is a companion. That doesn't mean I don't have some close friends whom I love; because I do and they bring me pleasure and sometimes the pain of growing in deeper relationships.
Yet, I embrace Thanatos in a realistic way. This earth suit is not eternal but has an unknown expiration date. I accept it will wear out and pass away and be planted in the ground to spout for my glorified body that Paul talks about. I can rejoice in that, too. I recognize life at work in my body but I also recognize death there, too: encapsulated and to be released at a future, unknown time. I am accepting of that... I won't say fate but truth since it will happen to all.
Even recognizing the occasional death-pang, that is like Braxton-Hicks contractions to an expectant mother - a reminder of the future change; yet life is good and worth living. I like growing old because my energy is less so I have learned to be more gentle with myself - and that skill can now be graced to others in how I manage my half of relationships.
I didn't even know I could enjoy this life, until I discovered I was ill. It seems there is inverse proportion: the healthier I was the less I enjoyed life and the sicker I become the more I enjoy life. I think part of that is from the old St. Peter at the gate jokes. What if I got to the pearly gate and the only question I was asked to obtain entrance was, "Debbie, did you enjoy the life God gave you?" I'd hem and haw and blush and look at my shoes and say, "Well, I always thought I'd enjoy it when it got better, so it didn't happen. I apologize for wasting my one life on earth." I don't think there is any entrance questions to go through the pearly gates; but that did get me to thinking that if I'm going to enjoy my life - I'd better do it today because there is no guarantee there is a tomorrow or that tomorrow would meet my egocentric criteria for what I needed to enjoy life. I am very grateful for that lesson.
p. 120 - When religion fails to celebrate authentic Eros in our lives, we fall into ersatz pleasures which are subject/object pleasures that can be bought and sold but do not satisfy.
As a recovered addict, I can sooooo relate to that. One of the things I find interesting is when I was in the charismatic circles, we were often taught on how to enjoy life and even how/why to increase the joy of marital relations; yet a lot of what I was taught was egocentric and anti-sin, anti-immaturity. God calls me to the liturgical area of the body and I'm taught how to be more expansive, to mature, to redefine sin to take it out of legalism, but I've heard almost no teaching on enjoying life or sex. It made me chuckle that some of the best teaching I've listened to on sex was from a celibate Catholic priest, Fr. Richard Rohr. Yet, with my almost 10 years of celibacy, I have learned more about my own sexuality then I did in 35 years of marriage. Sometimes the way God teaches makes me giggle.
p. 120 - One scholar tells us that for St. Francis salvation meant "enchanted existence."
Since this blog is my journey into discovering if I am to become Franciscan, I smiled when I saw a quote by St. Francis. I agree with him, living in Christ and having Christ in me is an "enchanted existence."
p. 121 - ... a greater reverence for our uniqueness, and therefore a greater reverence for that of God's other creatures.
I have found that in my life. It started with realizing the more I loved God, the more I loved me and the more I could love others. I came to realize the more I know God, the more I know me and the more I want to know and connect with others. Thus, that sentence helped me realize that the more I reverence my own uniqueness the more I reverence other creatures.
p. 122 - Ironically, Jesus, who comes to announce the presence of the kingdom/queendom of God, is mocked at the end of his life with a crown of thorns and an inscription that he is "king of the Jews." Yet he came not to be king himself--he rejects those temptations in Luke 3:21-4:14 -- but to redefine kingship and to redistribute it so that everyone realizes that he or she is king or queen, a royal person with dignity and responsibility to the cosmos.
Not much to say about that; but I loved the wording and the teaching. It's very appropriate during this Lenten season.
p. 124 - He calls us also to follow him, to guest, host and Eucharist to one another, to be alive, to be eaten and consumed. If every human person is truly made after this person's image, then hospitality becomes the empowerment of every individual: we can all do it, we are reassured. We can trust and our trust will heal us.
I know my priest often talks about this and I love the concept. Yet, there is some fear of stepping off the deep end and participating more in being Eucharist to one another. Yet there are times with people I love and trust that I can do that. But I'm not out of fear enough to have made much progress. But I'm God's craftsmanship, so it is all in His timing and I can trust Him to lead me on the right path.
p. 124 - He [Jesus] chose the way and the lifestyle of the story-teller, the parable-maker who fashions a new creation out of the holy materials of the only creation we all share in common: the birds, the lilies of the field, the fishes caught, the fig tree in bloom, the sheep versus the goats, the leaven in the bread, the mustard seeds of the world, and the rains that fall on the unjust and the just alike. His reverence for nature was so great that the creatures of nature were indeed his teachers, his professors, who he recognized instinctively were looking "on him with affectionate looks" and with truth to tell.
I realize I've often missed Professor bird, Instructor Fish, and Teacher Rain to instruct me. My prayer has been for a more simple life where I become aware and love creation (including people) enough that I can perceive and accept the lessons they teach.
p. 124-125 - He teaches a blessing theology, how to receive blessing and bestow it, that culminates in the blessings of the Beatitudes. He also insists that the blessings are for all, especially the lame and sick, the poor and the widowed. Royal personhood is no longer restricted to any blood line.
I've memorized them, read books, commentaries and heard sermons on the Beatitudes (Matthew 5: 2-17) and I don't get it. The closest it comes to making any sense (but still very little) is from Word on the Street Bible that says:
I’ll
tell you who’ll laugh last: the people who don’t think too much
of themselves, who knows they’re a mess—their ticket to heaven’s
already in the post (first class).
Who’ll
be happy? The people who know about grief, who don’t shove the mess
behind the sofa, but face it—God himself is going to put his arm
round them.
Who’ll
be content? The modest, gentle types, who don’t go round
grabbing—they’ll get given the world.
Who’ll
be laughing? The people who only want to do the right thing, like
it’s their food and drink—their “good news in tray’ will be
piled high.
Who’ll
be laughing? The people who don’t hold grudges, who forgive and
forget—they’ll get treated likewise.
Who’s
laughing, deep down, already? The people who aren’t polluted with
stuff that mugs the heart—they’ll get to see God.
Who’s
laughing, deep down? The people who stop fights and start
friendships, who turn fists into high fives—they’ll get known as
God’s children.
Who’s
laughing? The people who get slapped down for doing the right
thing—they get given the security code to heaven’s gates.
And you’re
laughing if people despise you. You’re delirious if they pick on
you. If they slag you off just because you’re on my side—throw a
party! Go wild! Paint the town—your bonus in heaven is hitting the
humongous mark. Because that’s exactly what they did to all the
couriers who prophesied my arrival.”
In God's timing maybe it will happen.
"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 1, Theme 9
Theme 9: Holiness as cosmic hospitality: Creation ecstasies shared constitute the holy prayer of thanksgiving and praise.
p. 108 - What is the test that you have indeed undergone this holy birth? Listen carefully. If this birth has truly taken place within you, then every single creature points you toward God - Meister Eckhart
I am not there.. I am making baby steps and learning it is possible to see God in all and desiring that to manifest more fully in my life.
I sense it in the bright sky and sunshine. I sense it in the breeze whispering against my skin. I sense it in the smile of others. I sense it when there is a bonding of eye contact. I sense it when driving around curves in the road. I sense it feeling the rays of the sun against my bare skin. I sense it in the daisies as they dance in the breeze. I sense it in the lightening. I sense it in tornadoes. I sensed it when carrying my unborn children.
p. 110 - a perfection quest is an ego quest and not a deeply spiritual quest of the human person.
I can so relate with that. I have been trapped in narrow, egocentric quest and am grateful that I am coming out to a new spacious place with freedom and light.
p. 110 - The fact is that for people who have truly learned to trust creation one of the first lessons is how beauty and imperfection go together. Every tree is beautiful; but if you approach it closely enough you will see that every tree is imperfect. The same is true of the human body: every human body is beautiful, but every human body is imperfect.
As consumerism increases and my age increase, I really enjoy quotes like that. It helps put things into a more functional perspective.
p. 111 - It is in fact our imperfections that most unites us and makes us a social organism whose parts are busy assisting one another. For it is shared weakness and need that draws from a group its gifts and powers of healing. A perfection-oriented spirituality of holiness is intrinsically privatizing and does not lead to a spirituality for the people.
I like that. I remember a fear of being known as imperfect, weak or struggling and that impacted on hiding who I was from others. Now I can state who I am - hopefully in a way that is dignified to me and dignified without hooks for the other. I am also free to not state who I am and not feel shame or guilt when I am reticent.
p. 111 - how much of the quest for perfection is a look back, a nostalgic quest for a time that never was.
I had to think about that for a while. About the time I thought I understood it, it was fleetingly gone.
p. 111 - There are also deeply serious biblical problems with the understanding of holiness as "perfection." The text invariably invoked for this definition... (Matthew 5:48) simply "does not refer to moral perfection" and "does not have here the later Greek meaning of being totally free of imperfection. The Greek word that has been misleadingly translated as "be you perfect" is teleioi, which means, "be full-grown, be adult, be complete and whole." The text has a parallel in Luke's Gospel which could hardly be more straightforward: "Be you compassionate as your Creator in heaven is compassionate." (Luke 6:36).
I have struggled for decades in trying to be perfect like God. I was not created in the God class - but in the creation class; therefore that type of perfection is closed to me. However, I can understand growing in the type of compassion God has.
p. 112 - Consumerism, like fall/redemption religion, plays on our inferiority complexes, on the fears of guilt or inhibitions we possess from not being perfect. Interestingly enough, the idea that perfection is the meaning for salvation is very much an idea of the Gnostics. The best way to undercut such potent appeals to our weakest sides is to let go of the quest for perfection and to sink more deeply into a spiritual value system that cherishes what is and considers isness holy.
I like that. To me it says accept what is right now as the place God has lead you or chosen for you to be. Not only accept it but like Paul, to even glory in our infirmities (2 Corinthians 12). There is a huge learning curve on that one. Some days I've taken a few baby steps to that freedom and then run back to the comfort of trying to become a new and improved and perfect model of humanity once again. Three steps forward and one back... patterns: changing long-held, knee-jerk reactions to life. I am grateful for the progress.
p. 112 - this banquet we call creation, the human planet. It works for our benefit if we behave toward it as reverent guests.
Since I'm new to nurturing earth (and myself and others and....) I like the idea of thinking not only of the planet as a place to practice being a reverent guest but also to think of others that way.
p. 113 - Hospitality is about a relationship--one cannot be hospitable without guests. God not only plays the host for us and becomes the banquet for us; God also has become guest for us. This is one of the deep meanings of the Incarnation, that God let go of hosting long enough to become guest as well.
What a wonderful example to explain Incarnation, Trinity and Eucharist.
p. 115 - True holiness, full hospitality, leads to gratitude.
In my walk, joy has lead to gratitude; especially when I am overflowing with joy through the hard times. I don't know why God chose to make me a sponge to soak up His joy; but He did and I am grateful. From that joy, other blessings of God flows. It's not something I did or even tried to achieve - it's all a mystery of grace.
p. 108 - What is the test that you have indeed undergone this holy birth? Listen carefully. If this birth has truly taken place within you, then every single creature points you toward God - Meister Eckhart
I am not there.. I am making baby steps and learning it is possible to see God in all and desiring that to manifest more fully in my life.
I sense it in the bright sky and sunshine. I sense it in the breeze whispering against my skin. I sense it in the smile of others. I sense it when there is a bonding of eye contact. I sense it when driving around curves in the road. I sense it feeling the rays of the sun against my bare skin. I sense it in the daisies as they dance in the breeze. I sense it in the lightening. I sense it in tornadoes. I sensed it when carrying my unborn children.
p. 110 - a perfection quest is an ego quest and not a deeply spiritual quest of the human person.
I can so relate with that. I have been trapped in narrow, egocentric quest and am grateful that I am coming out to a new spacious place with freedom and light.
p. 110 - The fact is that for people who have truly learned to trust creation one of the first lessons is how beauty and imperfection go together. Every tree is beautiful; but if you approach it closely enough you will see that every tree is imperfect. The same is true of the human body: every human body is beautiful, but every human body is imperfect.
As consumerism increases and my age increase, I really enjoy quotes like that. It helps put things into a more functional perspective.
p. 111 - It is in fact our imperfections that most unites us and makes us a social organism whose parts are busy assisting one another. For it is shared weakness and need that draws from a group its gifts and powers of healing. A perfection-oriented spirituality of holiness is intrinsically privatizing and does not lead to a spirituality for the people.
I like that. I remember a fear of being known as imperfect, weak or struggling and that impacted on hiding who I was from others. Now I can state who I am - hopefully in a way that is dignified to me and dignified without hooks for the other. I am also free to not state who I am and not feel shame or guilt when I am reticent.
p. 111 - how much of the quest for perfection is a look back, a nostalgic quest for a time that never was.
I had to think about that for a while. About the time I thought I understood it, it was fleetingly gone.
p. 111 - There are also deeply serious biblical problems with the understanding of holiness as "perfection." The text invariably invoked for this definition... (Matthew 5:48) simply "does not refer to moral perfection" and "does not have here the later Greek meaning of being totally free of imperfection. The Greek word that has been misleadingly translated as "be you perfect" is teleioi, which means, "be full-grown, be adult, be complete and whole." The text has a parallel in Luke's Gospel which could hardly be more straightforward: "Be you compassionate as your Creator in heaven is compassionate." (Luke 6:36).
I have struggled for decades in trying to be perfect like God. I was not created in the God class - but in the creation class; therefore that type of perfection is closed to me. However, I can understand growing in the type of compassion God has.
p. 112 - Consumerism, like fall/redemption religion, plays on our inferiority complexes, on the fears of guilt or inhibitions we possess from not being perfect. Interestingly enough, the idea that perfection is the meaning for salvation is very much an idea of the Gnostics. The best way to undercut such potent appeals to our weakest sides is to let go of the quest for perfection and to sink more deeply into a spiritual value system that cherishes what is and considers isness holy.
I like that. To me it says accept what is right now as the place God has lead you or chosen for you to be. Not only accept it but like Paul, to even glory in our infirmities (2 Corinthians 12). There is a huge learning curve on that one. Some days I've taken a few baby steps to that freedom and then run back to the comfort of trying to become a new and improved and perfect model of humanity once again. Three steps forward and one back... patterns: changing long-held, knee-jerk reactions to life. I am grateful for the progress.
p. 112 - this banquet we call creation, the human planet. It works for our benefit if we behave toward it as reverent guests.
Since I'm new to nurturing earth (and myself and others and....) I like the idea of thinking not only of the planet as a place to practice being a reverent guest but also to think of others that way.
p. 113 - Hospitality is about a relationship--one cannot be hospitable without guests. God not only plays the host for us and becomes the banquet for us; God also has become guest for us. This is one of the deep meanings of the Incarnation, that God let go of hosting long enough to become guest as well.
What a wonderful example to explain Incarnation, Trinity and Eucharist.
p. 115 - True holiness, full hospitality, leads to gratitude.
In my walk, joy has lead to gratitude; especially when I am overflowing with joy through the hard times. I don't know why God chose to make me a sponge to soak up His joy; but He did and I am grateful. From that joy, other blessings of God flows. It's not something I did or even tried to achieve - it's all a mystery of grace.
"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 1, Theme 8
Theme 8: Realized Eschatology: A New Sense of Time
p. 103 - If you don't break your ropes while you are alive, do you think ghosts will do it after?
I found this funny yet poignant. Yes, I daily fight to keep the ropes that have been broken to stay broken and not bind me up or trip me up. I continue to break the ropes as I find them. I have no Biblical ground to stand on in this belief that we continue on participating deeply in personal growth; but I think in the after-life that God will give us the dignity to continue to break off the ropes -- those things that hinder us from knowing him fully and loving others as He loves us - to having full and holistic relationships.
Would we even recognize ourselves if we had such an instant change from struggling with those things that bind us to total freedom? Maybe I'm visualizing God as too small; but I can't imagine such a huge switch without a loss of identity. Yes, my identity is in God, but part of my identity is based on my strength (bestowed by God) to be an over-comer. BE an over-comer not WAS an over-comer. Maybe that's the difference? If we got to heaven and nobody knew who they were, would that be heaven or hell? Would it be like a mob of saints with mass amnesia? I am grappling with things too big for me. I will let it go and let the scholars figure it out and I will trust in God's love. Back to the topic:
With the millions of people who never think of God, I think every little movement towards God and of becoming free of those things that hold us back from Him and others - brings God much joy. He probably sits on the throne and pokes Jesus in the ribs and says,"Hey, Son, look at that... did you notice that Debbie talked to me before she talked to others? I just love that woman I created." And Jesus will smile into Father's eyes, look at his scared hands and say, "I love her, too." Then with a boyish smile say, "Let's pour out a blessing for her." God replies, "What about another bucket of joy; she really enjoys that." And the Holy Spirit joyfully pours out that joy into me. I didn't "earn" that joy - I "earned" or "learned" a new skill that if repeated will become a natural pattern. But God, through his grace, chose to bless me.
p. 105 - Realized eschatology is the experience that Now is the time; Now is the place; Now is the occasion; Now is the bringing together of the best of the past and of the future.... We have already died--that is what Paul teaches baptism is about in his letter to the Romans. Therefore heaven has already burst forth into human and cosmic times; it has burst forth--believe it or not--in the person of ourselves.
I have been taught this concept since the early 1980s but did not have a proper term for it: realized eschatology. I wonder if having a name for it will help it grow in new dimensions? Will my understanding of Revelations and some of the Old Testament prophets (like Daniel) change because of it? Interesting - I like change; not for the sake of change but for the sake of growth.
p. 106 - The creation-centered spiritual tradition talks about redemption as reminding. For the Hebrew, salvation comes from remembering-- "Do this in memory of me." Jesus said at the Last Supper. The paschal meal is about making the past present.
Back when I went to a charismatic church that had prophecies, it often surprised and confused me how many times it started with "Remember the time...... " Yet, how many times the Hebrews encouraged each other with remembering back to when they were close to God and the blessings fell like rain... usually starting with when God delivered them from Egypt. There are also a lot of "Forget not" in the Bible.
Even bringing the "remember when's" and the "forget not's" is healthy in relationships, especially in marriage. Remembering and cherishing those key times helps keep relationships fresh and purposeful. It helps us have gratitude for what was and hope for what will be.
p. 107 - A healthy meditation of letting go of images and not one of adding to images will help many persons to experience the reality of time suspended, which also becomes time resurrected and reborn.
I like that but I do not understand it. I will try to understand it:
In meditation I let go of images, thoughts, emotions - as my priest says to think of myself on a mountain and when the clouds (images, thoughts, emotions) come, to accept them and let them float on by without trying to keep them there.
Adding images could mean not adding judgments, evaluations or try to change them into being something more acceptable to ego.
Experience the reality of time suspended. Yes, in contemplation... at least the times when I can let go and not add... time is suspended and it is like floating in the womb of God - loved, cherished, protected and wanted.
Becoming time resurrected and reborn. Yes, when I leave contemplation, life feels new, fresh and exciting and it looses that as I start analyzing or warping thoughts with my own skew of what life should be. Maybe that could be worded, when I start playing God with my inner reality instead of just letting life float by and participating in a simpler way.
p. 103 - If you don't break your ropes while you are alive, do you think ghosts will do it after?
I found this funny yet poignant. Yes, I daily fight to keep the ropes that have been broken to stay broken and not bind me up or trip me up. I continue to break the ropes as I find them. I have no Biblical ground to stand on in this belief that we continue on participating deeply in personal growth; but I think in the after-life that God will give us the dignity to continue to break off the ropes -- those things that hinder us from knowing him fully and loving others as He loves us - to having full and holistic relationships.
Would we even recognize ourselves if we had such an instant change from struggling with those things that bind us to total freedom? Maybe I'm visualizing God as too small; but I can't imagine such a huge switch without a loss of identity. Yes, my identity is in God, but part of my identity is based on my strength (bestowed by God) to be an over-comer. BE an over-comer not WAS an over-comer. Maybe that's the difference? If we got to heaven and nobody knew who they were, would that be heaven or hell? Would it be like a mob of saints with mass amnesia? I am grappling with things too big for me. I will let it go and let the scholars figure it out and I will trust in God's love. Back to the topic:
With the millions of people who never think of God, I think every little movement towards God and of becoming free of those things that hold us back from Him and others - brings God much joy. He probably sits on the throne and pokes Jesus in the ribs and says,"Hey, Son, look at that... did you notice that Debbie talked to me before she talked to others? I just love that woman I created." And Jesus will smile into Father's eyes, look at his scared hands and say, "I love her, too." Then with a boyish smile say, "Let's pour out a blessing for her." God replies, "What about another bucket of joy; she really enjoys that." And the Holy Spirit joyfully pours out that joy into me. I didn't "earn" that joy - I "earned" or "learned" a new skill that if repeated will become a natural pattern. But God, through his grace, chose to bless me.
p. 105 - Realized eschatology is the experience that Now is the time; Now is the place; Now is the occasion; Now is the bringing together of the best of the past and of the future.... We have already died--that is what Paul teaches baptism is about in his letter to the Romans. Therefore heaven has already burst forth into human and cosmic times; it has burst forth--believe it or not--in the person of ourselves.
I have been taught this concept since the early 1980s but did not have a proper term for it: realized eschatology. I wonder if having a name for it will help it grow in new dimensions? Will my understanding of Revelations and some of the Old Testament prophets (like Daniel) change because of it? Interesting - I like change; not for the sake of change but for the sake of growth.
p. 106 - The creation-centered spiritual tradition talks about redemption as reminding. For the Hebrew, salvation comes from remembering-- "Do this in memory of me." Jesus said at the Last Supper. The paschal meal is about making the past present.
Back when I went to a charismatic church that had prophecies, it often surprised and confused me how many times it started with "Remember the time...... " Yet, how many times the Hebrews encouraged each other with remembering back to when they were close to God and the blessings fell like rain... usually starting with when God delivered them from Egypt. There are also a lot of "Forget not" in the Bible.
Even bringing the "remember when's" and the "forget not's" is healthy in relationships, especially in marriage. Remembering and cherishing those key times helps keep relationships fresh and purposeful. It helps us have gratitude for what was and hope for what will be.
p. 107 - A healthy meditation of letting go of images and not one of adding to images will help many persons to experience the reality of time suspended, which also becomes time resurrected and reborn.
I like that but I do not understand it. I will try to understand it:
In meditation I let go of images, thoughts, emotions - as my priest says to think of myself on a mountain and when the clouds (images, thoughts, emotions) come, to accept them and let them float on by without trying to keep them there.
Adding images could mean not adding judgments, evaluations or try to change them into being something more acceptable to ego.
Experience the reality of time suspended. Yes, in contemplation... at least the times when I can let go and not add... time is suspended and it is like floating in the womb of God - loved, cherished, protected and wanted.
Becoming time resurrected and reborn. Yes, when I leave contemplation, life feels new, fresh and exciting and it looses that as I start analyzing or warping thoughts with my own skew of what life should be. Maybe that could be worded, when I start playing God with my inner reality instead of just letting life float by and participating in a simpler way.
"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 1, Theme 7
Theme 7: Our Royal Personhood; our dignity and responsibillity for building the kingdom/queendom of God. Creation Theology as Kingdom/Queendom Theology.
Whoa. That's a mouthful of title!
p. 95 - The first meaning of "king" for Israel is that God is King. This means three things: First, it means that God journeys and is with his people, leading them. Here we have the recurrent theme in creation theology of Emmanuel, God-with-us. The authentic king journeys with his people. Secondly, what it means for Israel to say that God is King is that God is Creator. p. 96 The third stage of kingship for Israel is found in the messianic tradition, sherein the messiah would be a king of the sort who truly embodies the divine reign of justice and care for creation.
That reinforces what was learned in the last chapter. I am learning to grok that concept. Grok is a term from Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land to mean to understand something so well it becomes a part of you. Maybe the lack of such a word is why Westerners are sometimes considered shallow and materialistic; or maybe, presuming that perception is correct, is why a word to that definition was never created.
I like the third definition because care of the planet is a new aspect of practicing my religion. It seems as I start to learn this new skill, that I am more understanding of myself as a particle of creation and more respectful of others as part of the whole. I feel gentler and kinder because of it. That is leading me to start to love my enemies. My biggest enemies were the 39,000,000 viruses who share this "earth suit" and since I have started treating them as friends, talking to them (although I don't think of them as individuals but as a collective), my blood tests have improved and some of the symptoms are better and I feel more positive about myself and about the future. New thought.... if God is all in all - does He live in each viride?
p. 97 - It was common among all the religions of the Orient in the time of ancient Israel to recognize that kingship began with the creation of the world.
I was aware of that; however, I hadn't thought of the magnitude of affect it would have on kingship. Yet, Jesus is the only King who not only was there at creation, he was there before creation. It seems odd - I certainly would find it odd if Queen Elizabeth created the world? Especially since we have photos of her from babyhood to now.
p. 99 - Christians believe that such a royal person occurred in the person of Jesus Christ. Christ is with the people..... he invites all peoples to be royal persons. He calls them to their dignity as images of God - the theology of human dignity and royal personhood that the Yahwish author of Genesis 2-3 writes about and that the psalmist praises.
That is putting together two concepts I believed in: Jesus as a royal King; and people have dignity because they were created in the image of God... but together it is much more powerful.
p. 99 - ... their royal personhood is two things: first, their dignity. Next, their responsibility.
I chuckled when I read that. My thought was, how can I believe that without returning to the weigh of legalism? I pondered. The dignity of humans was easy. Having responsibility felt uncomfortable. But as I thought, what purpose is royalty without responsibility? That would be about as silly as the stereotype of a secretary buffing her fingernails at work -- too busy being a secretary when I'm at work to even remember I have fingernails let alone buff them. That lead me back to the book to see what responsibilities were delineated by the author:
p. 100 - The responsibility of justice-making and preserving creation. On the part of the poor, this means being actively involved in asserting one's dignity, which means one's rights, and letting go of oppressive self-images that others have handed on to me. On the part of those who are comfortable, this means letting go and siding with the afflicted. This challenge of Jesus is put forth in many parts of the gospels, especially that of Luke.
I think of this as more then economic poor or comfortable. I interpret those words as weakness and strengths and think they can be exchanged quite well. Bolster my weak areas and grow; use my strengths to not only help others but have empathy for others' weak areas. "Let the weak say, I am strong." (Joel 3.10)
The struggle for me is that what I perceive as a person's weak area may be what they consider their strength and vice versa. Then what happens? Example: I had a discussion with a person this week and explained how something they did caused me pain. As a woman who is coming-out-of-co-dependency, being assertive was hard and I think I handled it okay; I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I didn't rude on them, I spoke my truth, listened openly to their response, and didn't try to prove I was right and they were wrong or even went into the meeting with expectations that my pain would change them. I am proud of me for that step. Yet, that person sees that area in themselves as one of their strengths; where I see it as one of their weaknesses. The response was if I was hurt by their behavior that it showed an area where I needed to work on me. I agree. I know I can't change other people - I can only change me. I think this is strength in me because I felt a universal pain of people everywhere who are subjected to verbal bullies; yet they see it as a weakness in me. I don't want to change that about me because I see it as a strength in seeing the affliction of others. Although I've lost respect for this person, I haven't stopped loving and caring for this person and wanting their best. I accept this person's right to have a perception that is different than mine; yet, I realize for my own peace of mind I will have to find ways to detach.
I am praying for God to lead me in healthy ways that won't hurt this person or people who know us both. I'm typing here because I won't risk gossiping and hurting this person's standing in the community. If he/she falls because of his/her (what I perceive as) being a verbal bully, then it isn't because of me. I think this is the best way to live a guilt-free life and to show love of this person and for God's creation. I trust God to show me if I have a weakness - and then move us toward reconciliation.
That's a bit off topic, but I think it's good I got it out of me.
I think of 1 Corinthians 8: 9 Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if someone with a weak conscience sees you, with all your knowledge, eating in an idol’s temple, won’t that person be emboldened to eat what is sacrificed to idols? 11 So this weak brother or sister, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. 12 When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.
It would be easy to look at this scripture and wish the other person embraced the teaching there. I have found myself being snarky in patternening my speech after this person's. I do not like that about me. As I said at spiritual reading yesterday while discussing another topic, "The fruit of the spirit is not love, joy, peace and snarky." But I realize this is my accepting offense and I need to figure out how to handle it.
There is one place/situation where the verbal bullying affects me the most. I can avoid that place/situation by going to another room. Just don't put myself into the position to be offended. That would leave me free to fellowship in other places/situations with that person, even in the same building, while I toughen up so I'm so offended. The need that is met in that room, can be met in other buildings and rooms with other people (friends to be). I know that is vague, but I don't want to blame or shame the other person, I just want to work on finding ways to both heal and grow. Journaling or blogging works best for me.
As I proof read this, I realized when both sides think they are right - that is what causes rifts in relationships and can become so huge as to cause world wars. Yet, I do not know how to attach/condone to this person's behaviour that I find repugnant without compromising who I am. I do not know how to listen to parts of this person's speaking (the part I find bullying) without causing myself harm; even though 95% of what this person says is excellent and building. Lord, guide me.
Now I have the option of highlighting and deleting the above because I've found a safe path for myself or leaving it there. I'm grateful there is an edit so I can remove it later if I decide to. But since we're all human, I feel positive every one of us has grappled with the questions: How do I protect myself emotionally but stay in relationship? How do I make boundaries without making expectations? How do I show honor to the other and myself?
p. 99 - By reclining with them at table he made them feel "clean and acceptable," and since Jesus was considered a man of God, they were now approved by him, acceptable to God.
I like that. The God of Eternity has ate with, laughed with, cried with us (through the 12) and through that action, gave them the ability to see themselves as worthy. I never had self esteem until I felt worthy in God. I am grateful for Mike Bickle's teachings on Song of Solomon because it was the genesis of my self-worth. I moved from self-hate and egocentricity into self-esteem.... let's call that God-esteem... and am learning to be there for others and to be there for me - one baby step at a time.
Mat 5:13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
p. 101 - in the Hebrew tongue, the word for salt, melach, sounds almost identical to the word for king, malak. Jesus, who spoke his stories and did not write them was very attuned to plays on words, as all Jews are. In this parable, therefore, Jesus is calling all of us to our royal personhood with its consequent dignity and responsibility.
As mentioned earlier, learning the Jewish roots of Christianity and the Jewish life at the time of Christ has enhanced my practice of my faith. I even went online to talk to Hebrews about ezer kenegdo and that lead me into some awesome new understandings of marriage and how women steeped in Jewish culture don't care they have a different role and can't participate in synagogue. In Jewish religion the home is the seat of religious life and the synagogue is secondary. Thus, she is free from wearing the accoutrements of religious life because she "lives" in the home (the seat of religious life) and is given greater freedom in prayer and practice of her faith.
I may come back and add an excellent link; however, I lost most of mine in the computer crash a few weeks go.
p. 101 - Jesus came preaching the kingdom and what we got was the churches--what a letdown.
;-)
Whoa. That's a mouthful of title!
p. 95 - The first meaning of "king" for Israel is that God is King. This means three things: First, it means that God journeys and is with his people, leading them. Here we have the recurrent theme in creation theology of Emmanuel, God-with-us. The authentic king journeys with his people. Secondly, what it means for Israel to say that God is King is that God is Creator. p. 96 The third stage of kingship for Israel is found in the messianic tradition, sherein the messiah would be a king of the sort who truly embodies the divine reign of justice and care for creation.
That reinforces what was learned in the last chapter. I am learning to grok that concept. Grok is a term from Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land to mean to understand something so well it becomes a part of you. Maybe the lack of such a word is why Westerners are sometimes considered shallow and materialistic; or maybe, presuming that perception is correct, is why a word to that definition was never created.
I like the third definition because care of the planet is a new aspect of practicing my religion. It seems as I start to learn this new skill, that I am more understanding of myself as a particle of creation and more respectful of others as part of the whole. I feel gentler and kinder because of it. That is leading me to start to love my enemies. My biggest enemies were the 39,000,000 viruses who share this "earth suit" and since I have started treating them as friends, talking to them (although I don't think of them as individuals but as a collective), my blood tests have improved and some of the symptoms are better and I feel more positive about myself and about the future. New thought.... if God is all in all - does He live in each viride?
p. 97 - It was common among all the religions of the Orient in the time of ancient Israel to recognize that kingship began with the creation of the world.
I was aware of that; however, I hadn't thought of the magnitude of affect it would have on kingship. Yet, Jesus is the only King who not only was there at creation, he was there before creation. It seems odd - I certainly would find it odd if Queen Elizabeth created the world? Especially since we have photos of her from babyhood to now.
p. 99 - Christians believe that such a royal person occurred in the person of Jesus Christ. Christ is with the people..... he invites all peoples to be royal persons. He calls them to their dignity as images of God - the theology of human dignity and royal personhood that the Yahwish author of Genesis 2-3 writes about and that the psalmist praises.
That is putting together two concepts I believed in: Jesus as a royal King; and people have dignity because they were created in the image of God... but together it is much more powerful.
p. 99 - ... their royal personhood is two things: first, their dignity. Next, their responsibility.
I chuckled when I read that. My thought was, how can I believe that without returning to the weigh of legalism? I pondered. The dignity of humans was easy. Having responsibility felt uncomfortable. But as I thought, what purpose is royalty without responsibility? That would be about as silly as the stereotype of a secretary buffing her fingernails at work -- too busy being a secretary when I'm at work to even remember I have fingernails let alone buff them. That lead me back to the book to see what responsibilities were delineated by the author:
p. 100 - The responsibility of justice-making and preserving creation. On the part of the poor, this means being actively involved in asserting one's dignity, which means one's rights, and letting go of oppressive self-images that others have handed on to me. On the part of those who are comfortable, this means letting go and siding with the afflicted. This challenge of Jesus is put forth in many parts of the gospels, especially that of Luke.
I think of this as more then economic poor or comfortable. I interpret those words as weakness and strengths and think they can be exchanged quite well. Bolster my weak areas and grow; use my strengths to not only help others but have empathy for others' weak areas. "Let the weak say, I am strong." (Joel 3.10)
The struggle for me is that what I perceive as a person's weak area may be what they consider their strength and vice versa. Then what happens? Example: I had a discussion with a person this week and explained how something they did caused me pain. As a woman who is coming-out-of-co-dependency, being assertive was hard and I think I handled it okay; I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I didn't rude on them, I spoke my truth, listened openly to their response, and didn't try to prove I was right and they were wrong or even went into the meeting with expectations that my pain would change them. I am proud of me for that step. Yet, that person sees that area in themselves as one of their strengths; where I see it as one of their weaknesses. The response was if I was hurt by their behavior that it showed an area where I needed to work on me. I agree. I know I can't change other people - I can only change me. I think this is strength in me because I felt a universal pain of people everywhere who are subjected to verbal bullies; yet they see it as a weakness in me. I don't want to change that about me because I see it as a strength in seeing the affliction of others. Although I've lost respect for this person, I haven't stopped loving and caring for this person and wanting their best. I accept this person's right to have a perception that is different than mine; yet, I realize for my own peace of mind I will have to find ways to detach.
I am praying for God to lead me in healthy ways that won't hurt this person or people who know us both. I'm typing here because I won't risk gossiping and hurting this person's standing in the community. If he/she falls because of his/her (what I perceive as) being a verbal bully, then it isn't because of me. I think this is the best way to live a guilt-free life and to show love of this person and for God's creation. I trust God to show me if I have a weakness - and then move us toward reconciliation.
That's a bit off topic, but I think it's good I got it out of me.
I think of 1 Corinthians 8: 9 Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if someone with a weak conscience sees you, with all your knowledge, eating in an idol’s temple, won’t that person be emboldened to eat what is sacrificed to idols? 11 So this weak brother or sister, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. 12 When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.
It would be easy to look at this scripture and wish the other person embraced the teaching there. I have found myself being snarky in patternening my speech after this person's. I do not like that about me. As I said at spiritual reading yesterday while discussing another topic, "The fruit of the spirit is not love, joy, peace and snarky." But I realize this is my accepting offense and I need to figure out how to handle it.
There is one place/situation where the verbal bullying affects me the most. I can avoid that place/situation by going to another room. Just don't put myself into the position to be offended. That would leave me free to fellowship in other places/situations with that person, even in the same building, while I toughen up so I'm so offended. The need that is met in that room, can be met in other buildings and rooms with other people (friends to be). I know that is vague, but I don't want to blame or shame the other person, I just want to work on finding ways to both heal and grow. Journaling or blogging works best for me.
As I proof read this, I realized when both sides think they are right - that is what causes rifts in relationships and can become so huge as to cause world wars. Yet, I do not know how to attach/condone to this person's behaviour that I find repugnant without compromising who I am. I do not know how to listen to parts of this person's speaking (the part I find bullying) without causing myself harm; even though 95% of what this person says is excellent and building. Lord, guide me.
Now I have the option of highlighting and deleting the above because I've found a safe path for myself or leaving it there. I'm grateful there is an edit so I can remove it later if I decide to. But since we're all human, I feel positive every one of us has grappled with the questions: How do I protect myself emotionally but stay in relationship? How do I make boundaries without making expectations? How do I show honor to the other and myself?
p. 99 - By reclining with them at table he made them feel "clean and acceptable," and since Jesus was considered a man of God, they were now approved by him, acceptable to God.
I like that. The God of Eternity has ate with, laughed with, cried with us (through the 12) and through that action, gave them the ability to see themselves as worthy. I never had self esteem until I felt worthy in God. I am grateful for Mike Bickle's teachings on Song of Solomon because it was the genesis of my self-worth. I moved from self-hate and egocentricity into self-esteem.... let's call that God-esteem... and am learning to be there for others and to be there for me - one baby step at a time.
Mat 5:13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
p. 101 - in the Hebrew tongue, the word for salt, melach, sounds almost identical to the word for king, malak. Jesus, who spoke his stories and did not write them was very attuned to plays on words, as all Jews are. In this parable, therefore, Jesus is calling all of us to our royal personhood with its consequent dignity and responsibility.
As mentioned earlier, learning the Jewish roots of Christianity and the Jewish life at the time of Christ has enhanced my practice of my faith. I even went online to talk to Hebrews about ezer kenegdo and that lead me into some awesome new understandings of marriage and how women steeped in Jewish culture don't care they have a different role and can't participate in synagogue. In Jewish religion the home is the seat of religious life and the synagogue is secondary. Thus, she is free from wearing the accoutrements of religious life because she "lives" in the home (the seat of religious life) and is given greater freedom in prayer and practice of her faith.
I may come back and add an excellent link; however, I lost most of mine in the computer crash a few weeks go.
p. 101 - Jesus came preaching the kingdom and what we got was the churches--what a letdown.
;-)
"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 1, Theme 6
Theme 6 - Panentheism: Experiencing the Diaphanous and Transparent God
At church yesterday, one of my priests said she studied this book while in university. No wonder I'm having a bit of a struggle with both the writing style and grasping some of the concepts presented in the book. That is why I'm enjoying blogging about what I'm reading - it gives me a place to work out what I am reading and how/if to apply that to my life.
p. 89 - The idea that God is "out there" is probably the ultimate dualism, divorcing as it does God and humanity and reducing religion to a childish state of pleasing or pleading with a God "out there."
I have lived in that dualism. I find it sad when I talk to older people who are fearful if they have done enough, been moral enough, been favored enough to "achieve" heaven. I believe in life after life and I believe in the bodily resurrection - that Christ showed us because He is the firstfruit and since it happened to Him, it will happen to us. Jesus said, "Fear not, it is the Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." I no longer think of the "achieve" heaven and fear hell dualism. I recognize it when I see it and it saddens me. But, the kingdom is already in me, active in me, encouraging me; it is not something I will "achieve", but a "gift" the Father has given me that is already at work in me and will continue throughout eternity. It is both now and the not yet.... like so much of Christianity.
I like thinking of God in me and God in you. It bonds at a deeper level and hinders those occasional times of loneliness. It helps me try to show honor to others because it honors not only me but the God in all.
Although I still want to please God and still occasionally plead with God, my relationship seems to be changing to a deeper faith - where I trust Him completely to give me the trials that will keep me growing and the pleasures of sweet consolation since I'm his child. The more I'm able to let go of the "checklist" method of pleasing God - the easier it is to do those things that please God and gives me great pleasure in being His child. It sounds weird as I think it, but the less I try to please God, the more God pleases me. That doesn't mean I'm out sinning and living selfish; it's just a shift in thinking. In fact, when I do lenten confession, it will be sins of attitude and not sins of flesh. The less I plead with God, the more I am able to let go of expectations and trust life as it unfolds.
p. 90 - Now panentheism is not pantheism. Pantheism, which is declared heresy because it robs God of transcendence, states that "everything is God and God is everything." Panentheism, on the other hand, is altogether orthodox and very fit for orthopraxis as well, for it slips in the little Greek word en and thus means, "God is in everything and everything is in God."
Acts 17:28 "In Him we live and move and have our being.
John 14:20 "I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you."
2 Corinthians 13:5 "Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?"
Galatians 2:20 "Christ lives in me"
Colossians 1:27 "Christ in you, the hope of glory."
and many more.
It is interesting to have a new word, panentheism, to refer to my belief in God in me and me in God. I remember when I was taking university Chemistry. The prof was a Christian and often had short little one-liners to remind us of God. One day he asked, "With the electron whizzing around the nucleus and neutron, why doesn't the electron go flying off?" After several guesses and guffaws, he said, "The Bible says Jesus holds all things together." (Colossians 1:17) Then took off on another topic. Little bread-crumbs pointing the way to faith.It comforts me to think that the prof had a scientific point that encourages my spiritual walk.
If Christ is holding me together at the microscopic level; then isn't He holding me together at the macroscopic level - the level of problems, fears, pains, relationships, finances, etc.?
p. 92 - Greeks focus on nouns in their literature, Jews focus on prepositions such as with, against, from, etc. The Covenant is a sign of God's with-ness. To be without covenant would be unbearable for the Jewish believer. God, then, is a preposition for the Jew. And the preposition is basically one of presence, of with-ness. The title of Jesus Emmanuel, God-with-us, is spelled out in the infancy story of Matthew's Gospel.
I think there is a lot of Biblical understanding I have missed because I have not studied Jewish life. I know what little I have studied have both enlightened my understanding of Christianity and given me a greater appreciation of the roots of the Christian religion. It also gives me a different, and hopefully more accurate, view of who my Saviour is.
______________________
After meditating the other day, I had this thought: "The wider the road, the narrower the path." I'll try to unpack that: The more I heal or mature in Christ, the more I am able to embrace life and others (get wider perspective on life and more acceptance of others' paths); yet it gets narrower because I see me as more separate (less co-D). The more separate I am (more true to self), the more I am able to embrace life and others because I need that expansiveness of relationship with others to maintain my sense of individuality and my sense of community. I imagine that little thought will expand and grow as I expand and grow as a person. Yet, I can see how that little nugget could lead to legalism, so will be wary.
Since I mentioned co-dependency, I read a quote in a 12-step mini-devotional. "Nobody ever becomes a person they don't like." As I shed co-D and recognize myself as an individual (who is in Christ and Christ in me), I like myself more. When I was trying to people please - because of low self esteem and not knowing who I was - I didn't like myself much. I wasn't a person I respected; but now I am becoming a person I love, respect and feel is worthy of self-care.
If Jesus was alive today, would he say, "I am the way, the truth and the life..." or would he say "I'm your Garmin to zoe life..."
At church yesterday, one of my priests said she studied this book while in university. No wonder I'm having a bit of a struggle with both the writing style and grasping some of the concepts presented in the book. That is why I'm enjoying blogging about what I'm reading - it gives me a place to work out what I am reading and how/if to apply that to my life.
p. 89 - The idea that God is "out there" is probably the ultimate dualism, divorcing as it does God and humanity and reducing religion to a childish state of pleasing or pleading with a God "out there."
I have lived in that dualism. I find it sad when I talk to older people who are fearful if they have done enough, been moral enough, been favored enough to "achieve" heaven. I believe in life after life and I believe in the bodily resurrection - that Christ showed us because He is the firstfruit and since it happened to Him, it will happen to us. Jesus said, "Fear not, it is the Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." I no longer think of the "achieve" heaven and fear hell dualism. I recognize it when I see it and it saddens me. But, the kingdom is already in me, active in me, encouraging me; it is not something I will "achieve", but a "gift" the Father has given me that is already at work in me and will continue throughout eternity. It is both now and the not yet.... like so much of Christianity.
I like thinking of God in me and God in you. It bonds at a deeper level and hinders those occasional times of loneliness. It helps me try to show honor to others because it honors not only me but the God in all.
Although I still want to please God and still occasionally plead with God, my relationship seems to be changing to a deeper faith - where I trust Him completely to give me the trials that will keep me growing and the pleasures of sweet consolation since I'm his child. The more I'm able to let go of the "checklist" method of pleasing God - the easier it is to do those things that please God and gives me great pleasure in being His child. It sounds weird as I think it, but the less I try to please God, the more God pleases me. That doesn't mean I'm out sinning and living selfish; it's just a shift in thinking. In fact, when I do lenten confession, it will be sins of attitude and not sins of flesh. The less I plead with God, the more I am able to let go of expectations and trust life as it unfolds.
p. 90 - Now panentheism is not pantheism. Pantheism, which is declared heresy because it robs God of transcendence, states that "everything is God and God is everything." Panentheism, on the other hand, is altogether orthodox and very fit for orthopraxis as well, for it slips in the little Greek word en and thus means, "God is in everything and everything is in God."
Acts 17:28 "In Him we live and move and have our being.
John 14:20 "I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you."
2 Corinthians 13:5 "Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?"
Galatians 2:20 "Christ lives in me"
Colossians 1:27 "Christ in you, the hope of glory."
and many more.
It is interesting to have a new word, panentheism, to refer to my belief in God in me and me in God. I remember when I was taking university Chemistry. The prof was a Christian and often had short little one-liners to remind us of God. One day he asked, "With the electron whizzing around the nucleus and neutron, why doesn't the electron go flying off?" After several guesses and guffaws, he said, "The Bible says Jesus holds all things together." (Colossians 1:17) Then took off on another topic. Little bread-crumbs pointing the way to faith.It comforts me to think that the prof had a scientific point that encourages my spiritual walk.
If Christ is holding me together at the microscopic level; then isn't He holding me together at the macroscopic level - the level of problems, fears, pains, relationships, finances, etc.?
p. 92 - Greeks focus on nouns in their literature, Jews focus on prepositions such as with, against, from, etc. The Covenant is a sign of God's with-ness. To be without covenant would be unbearable for the Jewish believer. God, then, is a preposition for the Jew. And the preposition is basically one of presence, of with-ness. The title of Jesus Emmanuel, God-with-us, is spelled out in the infancy story of Matthew's Gospel.
I think there is a lot of Biblical understanding I have missed because I have not studied Jewish life. I know what little I have studied have both enlightened my understanding of Christianity and given me a greater appreciation of the roots of the Christian religion. It also gives me a different, and hopefully more accurate, view of who my Saviour is.
______________________
After meditating the other day, I had this thought: "The wider the road, the narrower the path." I'll try to unpack that: The more I heal or mature in Christ, the more I am able to embrace life and others (get wider perspective on life and more acceptance of others' paths); yet it gets narrower because I see me as more separate (less co-D). The more separate I am (more true to self), the more I am able to embrace life and others because I need that expansiveness of relationship with others to maintain my sense of individuality and my sense of community. I imagine that little thought will expand and grow as I expand and grow as a person. Yet, I can see how that little nugget could lead to legalism, so will be wary.
Since I mentioned co-dependency, I read a quote in a 12-step mini-devotional. "Nobody ever becomes a person they don't like." As I shed co-D and recognize myself as an individual (who is in Christ and Christ in me), I like myself more. When I was trying to people please - because of low self esteem and not knowing who I was - I didn't like myself much. I wasn't a person I respected; but now I am becoming a person I love, respect and feel is worthy of self-care.
If Jesus was alive today, would he say, "I am the way, the truth and the life..." or would he say "I'm your Garmin to zoe life..."
Monday 4 March 2013
"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 1, Theme 5
Path 1, Theme 5: Trust: A Psychology of Trust and Expansion.
p. 83 Trust is the most basic meaning of faith.
I agree.
p. 84 The biggest struggle David [King David] has with trust (faith) is coming to the realization--and the trusting action that flows from that realization-- that he is trusted by God. He and humanity are entrusted by the Creator with creation. What God does first and best and most is to trust his people with their moment in history. He trusts his people to do what must be done for the sake of his whole community.
Wow Yet, somewhere I knew that inside. The beautiful loving analogy in Song of Solomon depicts this trust; when the New Testament calls us the bride of Christ and God giving the garden to Adam and the keys of the kingdom to Peter. All of these show God's willingness to trust us while still knowing we are human and going to mess up.
p. 84 Our expansion has no limit--God is the limit. We are as big as we allow ourselves to be.
Another Wow. I'm finding as I continue to grow and have good teachers like my priest and friends (both online and in person) that I expand. I love this cosmic-headed expansion because walking in this limitless space unites me with more and more so I can see God in more things and love those things because they are full of God. Even on days when I'm feeling small, self-centered and fearful, I can remember that cosmic feel and it helps pull me out of that egocentric space. Since God is in me and I am in Him - seeing Him in more places also means seeing me in more places, so it increases my self-esteem and my healthy love of self (as one of God's creatures).
p. 85 When you build your basic understanding of the universe on nature's cycles (as the creation-centered tradition does) rather than on a mythical past state of perfection (as the fall/redemption tradition does), you learn to reverence change and process.
It is hard to let go of that craving for a "user manual" where I can take a test and see if I "measure up" to what I think God wants from me. User manuals give a feeling of security - push button one, move lever B and turn knob C and PRESTO, everything works great. For many years, I had a religion of moral achievement and missed the main thing God offered me: His love and friendship - reciprocal of Him in me and me in Him. I want to someday reach the place where I no longer know where I stop and God begins; or where God stops and I begin...
p. 85 The Irenaean theology, which is a creation theology, does not attribute to Adam before the fall a state of perfection, but rather sees the perfection of creation in its potential for growth and for allowing humans to grow by joy and by pain as well as by sin and by forgiveness.
I'm not sure I understand the first part; but I have lived the second. Most of my growth has been after the pain times, that eventually drag me into self-pity to the point of sin - where I get a grip on myself and ask for God's forgiveness and then He supplies me with another dousing of joy - so much joy it is like a 260 tonne haulage truck was packed full of joy and he dumped it all into my heart. If I wouldn't have known pain - I wouldn't recognize joy. If I hadn't sinned - I wouldn't understand forgiveness. A quote I read on FaceBook by Lao Tzu, "New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings..." How true. Or as Jesus said, "I tell you the truth. A grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die. Then it grows and makes many seeds. But if it never dies, then it will always be only a single seed."
p. 86 The creation-centered spiritual tradition does not teach fear about death. In fact, the trust one learns about love, life, and ecstasy and the pain that accompanies every layer of ecstatic living carry through in the death experience as well. Death too can be trusted. And in a real sense, we are entrusted with death so that we ought to be reverencing that aspect of living as much as any other aspect.
I am blessed because I was not raised to fear death but have a very pragmatic about it. I know I have been corrected by some people for openly talking about when I die. At times I can even chuckle about the practicalities of death and the worst case scenarios.
p. 86 .... compassion is a function of faith [read trust] in a human nature, while compulsion is a function of lack of faith in human nature.
I very much understand that. Being three times divorced, it's understandable that I would struggle with trusting human nature. Yet, I have a lot of compassion for the wives going through difficult marriages or reestablishing life after divorce. Having struggled with addictions, I have compassion for the partners who are struggling with those compulsive behaviors. I know this is an area that God is working with me - to trust even when experience says not to... to trust like Jesus did even on the via Dolorosa... the way of grief. One thing we share with all humanity is pain, betrayal, joy, laughter, tears.... and so much more.
Joyce Meyer's teaching on self pity has ministered to me. She said when something goes wrong, she'd ask God "Why me?" and one time God answered, "Why not you?" Aaaaah, we're all humanity.
p. 87 One reason why compulsion rather than compassion has so characterized the patriarchal era of religion is that trust has been so much less important than fear. And spiritual expansion has been so much less important than guilt.
I can understand that. Often others (and me, too) encourage people to fear if they are measuring up on God's yardstick; and pouring guilt if we aren't perfectly perfect like Jesus. Ive been on both sides of that equation. It kept me self-focused and with my shame and guilt hindering a close relationship with God. I am glad I am learning new Biblical skills so my focus isn't so much on my negatives but leaning more towards the positives. As I see my positives, it's easier to see others' positives and to validate them with tender words.
_________________
Update on spiritual discipline: I am still doing morning and have added bedtime prayers to the Divine Office; on days when I don't work I usually add evening prayers. Some days I listen to the readings while preparing for work - not as powerful as sitting and quietly letting them soak, but it is a start in the right direction. I am using divineoffice.org for the readings/listenings.
I am reading from this Original Blessing most days. It is slow going because it is rich with new concepts and ideas - and with putting words to things I already knew.
Tonight I signed up for an online class, "Beyond the Bird Bath: Richard Rohr Teaches the Courageous Heart of the Franciscan Way" I am looking forward to this online class and to learning more about Saint Francis.
p. 83 Trust is the most basic meaning of faith.
I agree.
p. 84 The biggest struggle David [King David] has with trust (faith) is coming to the realization--and the trusting action that flows from that realization-- that he is trusted by God. He and humanity are entrusted by the Creator with creation. What God does first and best and most is to trust his people with their moment in history. He trusts his people to do what must be done for the sake of his whole community.
Wow Yet, somewhere I knew that inside. The beautiful loving analogy in Song of Solomon depicts this trust; when the New Testament calls us the bride of Christ and God giving the garden to Adam and the keys of the kingdom to Peter. All of these show God's willingness to trust us while still knowing we are human and going to mess up.
p. 84 Our expansion has no limit--God is the limit. We are as big as we allow ourselves to be.
Another Wow. I'm finding as I continue to grow and have good teachers like my priest and friends (both online and in person) that I expand. I love this cosmic-headed expansion because walking in this limitless space unites me with more and more so I can see God in more things and love those things because they are full of God. Even on days when I'm feeling small, self-centered and fearful, I can remember that cosmic feel and it helps pull me out of that egocentric space. Since God is in me and I am in Him - seeing Him in more places also means seeing me in more places, so it increases my self-esteem and my healthy love of self (as one of God's creatures).
p. 85 When you build your basic understanding of the universe on nature's cycles (as the creation-centered tradition does) rather than on a mythical past state of perfection (as the fall/redemption tradition does), you learn to reverence change and process.
It is hard to let go of that craving for a "user manual" where I can take a test and see if I "measure up" to what I think God wants from me. User manuals give a feeling of security - push button one, move lever B and turn knob C and PRESTO, everything works great. For many years, I had a religion of moral achievement and missed the main thing God offered me: His love and friendship - reciprocal of Him in me and me in Him. I want to someday reach the place where I no longer know where I stop and God begins; or where God stops and I begin...
p. 85 The Irenaean theology, which is a creation theology, does not attribute to Adam before the fall a state of perfection, but rather sees the perfection of creation in its potential for growth and for allowing humans to grow by joy and by pain as well as by sin and by forgiveness.
I'm not sure I understand the first part; but I have lived the second. Most of my growth has been after the pain times, that eventually drag me into self-pity to the point of sin - where I get a grip on myself and ask for God's forgiveness and then He supplies me with another dousing of joy - so much joy it is like a 260 tonne haulage truck was packed full of joy and he dumped it all into my heart. If I wouldn't have known pain - I wouldn't recognize joy. If I hadn't sinned - I wouldn't understand forgiveness. A quote I read on FaceBook by Lao Tzu, "New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings..." How true. Or as Jesus said, "I tell you the truth. A grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die. Then it grows and makes many seeds. But if it never dies, then it will always be only a single seed."
p. 86 The creation-centered spiritual tradition does not teach fear about death. In fact, the trust one learns about love, life, and ecstasy and the pain that accompanies every layer of ecstatic living carry through in the death experience as well. Death too can be trusted. And in a real sense, we are entrusted with death so that we ought to be reverencing that aspect of living as much as any other aspect.
I am blessed because I was not raised to fear death but have a very pragmatic about it. I know I have been corrected by some people for openly talking about when I die. At times I can even chuckle about the practicalities of death and the worst case scenarios.
p. 86 .... compassion is a function of faith [read trust] in a human nature, while compulsion is a function of lack of faith in human nature.
I very much understand that. Being three times divorced, it's understandable that I would struggle with trusting human nature. Yet, I have a lot of compassion for the wives going through difficult marriages or reestablishing life after divorce. Having struggled with addictions, I have compassion for the partners who are struggling with those compulsive behaviors. I know this is an area that God is working with me - to trust even when experience says not to... to trust like Jesus did even on the via Dolorosa... the way of grief. One thing we share with all humanity is pain, betrayal, joy, laughter, tears.... and so much more.
Joyce Meyer's teaching on self pity has ministered to me. She said when something goes wrong, she'd ask God "Why me?" and one time God answered, "Why not you?" Aaaaah, we're all humanity.
p. 87 One reason why compulsion rather than compassion has so characterized the patriarchal era of religion is that trust has been so much less important than fear. And spiritual expansion has been so much less important than guilt.
I can understand that. Often others (and me, too) encourage people to fear if they are measuring up on God's yardstick; and pouring guilt if we aren't perfectly perfect like Jesus. Ive been on both sides of that equation. It kept me self-focused and with my shame and guilt hindering a close relationship with God. I am glad I am learning new Biblical skills so my focus isn't so much on my negatives but leaning more towards the positives. As I see my positives, it's easier to see others' positives and to validate them with tender words.
_________________
Update on spiritual discipline: I am still doing morning and have added bedtime prayers to the Divine Office; on days when I don't work I usually add evening prayers. Some days I listen to the readings while preparing for work - not as powerful as sitting and quietly letting them soak, but it is a start in the right direction. I am using divineoffice.org for the readings/listenings.
I am reading from this Original Blessing most days. It is slow going because it is rich with new concepts and ideas - and with putting words to things I already knew.
Tonight I signed up for an online class, "Beyond the Bird Bath: Richard Rohr Teaches the Courageous Heart of the Franciscan Way" I am looking forward to this online class and to learning more about Saint Francis.
"Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox - Path 1, Theme 4--
Path 1, Theme 4: Cosmic, Universalist: Harmony, Beauty, Justice as Cosmic Energies.
p. 70 the word "cosmos" is in fact the Greek word for "order." .... The Hebrew people believed that the entire cosmos stood on two pillars: a pillar of justice and a pillar of righteousness, which was justice internalized.
I found that fascinating. I makes me remember the two pillars in Solomon's Temple were called Jacan and Boaz. I did a little reading and found they stood for strength (Boaz) and stability (Jachin). Off the top of my head, it would seem it takes strength to stand in righteousness; yet it takes stability to to let our stability solidify enough to mold justice for others..... which reminds me of the Great Commandment or the Shema - to love God first and love others.
,
The author talks about Thomas Aquinas teaching on the cosmic dimension of love, faith and ecstacy. Although I have dozens of books on my "read next" list, I will add Aquinas to the list.
p. 73 Humankind cannot live wisely, sanely, or gently without the cosmos. Without the cosmos, humanity becomes arrogant and manipulative in its idolatry of itself and its ways.
At first I did not grasp this. But as I sat with it and let it speak to me, I realize if my life outlook is myself and not cosmic, then I have a small life outlook and I retreat into egocentricity - the me first and me only mentality. The more cosmic focus I have, the less room there will be for the egocentric me and more room in my inner manger for the Christ to be birthed and grown until I learn to have a sacrificial life. I'm not there. I want to be there. Yet, I trust God in me to bring me to that place in His timing and by situations He allows into my life to help form me into the image of His Son, my Saviour. The scriptures to back this up are Eph 1.3-23; Col 1:15,20; Phil 2:10,11; Rom. 8:22,23 and in the gospels, especially Luke 1 through 3 (1:35 summarizes)
p. 76 Augustine's genius was in writing what is probably the first biography in the West. But here too lies his weakness. Too much guilt, too much introspection, too much preoccupation with law, sin, and grace rendered Augustine, and the theology that was to prevail in his name for sixteen centuries in the West, oblivious of western Christian church celebrates as Theosis the divinization of the cosmos. The fall/redemption preoccupation with personal salvation destroy justice and cosmic connection.
As I learn to apply both/and thinking; it seems this is an either/or. Where I am now, I think there is a balance between applying myself to knowing God by expanding how I view God and growing in seeing God in nature, God in others and God in everything (cosmic); yet reaching out away from self into those cosmic realms to let God in me Light the world without hiding that light under a bushel for "us four and no more" as the old saying goes.
p.77 I believe it is important, in order to understand both the appeal and the tragedy of a too-introspective spirituality, to grasp the critical distinction between an inner journey and an inward one. An inner journey is altogether healthy and necessary--we take inner journeys into ourselves, into our loved ones, into trees, into Mozart's music, into death, into pain and suffering and injustice. ideally all the time. To pray is to enter in, thus to make an inner journey. But a person who takes an inward journey looks only into himself or herself for God or for spiritual refreshment. It is introspection. There lies the death of cosmic spirituality, the death of cosmos, and the excessive quest for personal salvation. The world does not need more inward journeys; but there are no limits to the inner journeys we can make.
That was certainly a new way of looking at egocentric v expansive faith.
p. 79 The most important function of art and science is to awaken the cosmic religious feeling and keep it alive.
I love how the author brings art and science together as almost tutors to help us grow spiritually. His religion is not constraining art or dismissing science but allowing all things to point to God. I think of Romans 8.28 "ALL THINGS work together for good...." So often I've taken my mental pencil and added a few words to that scripture to make it fit my doctrine or desires.
p. 70 the word "cosmos" is in fact the Greek word for "order." .... The Hebrew people believed that the entire cosmos stood on two pillars: a pillar of justice and a pillar of righteousness, which was justice internalized.
I found that fascinating. I makes me remember the two pillars in Solomon's Temple were called Jacan and Boaz. I did a little reading and found they stood for strength (Boaz) and stability (Jachin). Off the top of my head, it would seem it takes strength to stand in righteousness; yet it takes stability to to let our stability solidify enough to mold justice for others..... which reminds me of the Great Commandment or the Shema - to love God first and love others.
,
The author talks about Thomas Aquinas teaching on the cosmic dimension of love, faith and ecstacy. Although I have dozens of books on my "read next" list, I will add Aquinas to the list.
p. 73 Humankind cannot live wisely, sanely, or gently without the cosmos. Without the cosmos, humanity becomes arrogant and manipulative in its idolatry of itself and its ways.
At first I did not grasp this. But as I sat with it and let it speak to me, I realize if my life outlook is myself and not cosmic, then I have a small life outlook and I retreat into egocentricity - the me first and me only mentality. The more cosmic focus I have, the less room there will be for the egocentric me and more room in my inner manger for the Christ to be birthed and grown until I learn to have a sacrificial life. I'm not there. I want to be there. Yet, I trust God in me to bring me to that place in His timing and by situations He allows into my life to help form me into the image of His Son, my Saviour. The scriptures to back this up are Eph 1.3-23; Col 1:15,20; Phil 2:10,11; Rom. 8:22,23 and in the gospels, especially Luke 1 through 3 (1:35 summarizes)
p. 76 Augustine's genius was in writing what is probably the first biography in the West. But here too lies his weakness. Too much guilt, too much introspection, too much preoccupation with law, sin, and grace rendered Augustine, and the theology that was to prevail in his name for sixteen centuries in the West, oblivious of western Christian church celebrates as Theosis the divinization of the cosmos. The fall/redemption preoccupation with personal salvation destroy justice and cosmic connection.
As I learn to apply both/and thinking; it seems this is an either/or. Where I am now, I think there is a balance between applying myself to knowing God by expanding how I view God and growing in seeing God in nature, God in others and God in everything (cosmic); yet reaching out away from self into those cosmic realms to let God in me Light the world without hiding that light under a bushel for "us four and no more" as the old saying goes.
p.77 I believe it is important, in order to understand both the appeal and the tragedy of a too-introspective spirituality, to grasp the critical distinction between an inner journey and an inward one. An inner journey is altogether healthy and necessary--we take inner journeys into ourselves, into our loved ones, into trees, into Mozart's music, into death, into pain and suffering and injustice. ideally all the time. To pray is to enter in, thus to make an inner journey. But a person who takes an inward journey looks only into himself or herself for God or for spiritual refreshment. It is introspection. There lies the death of cosmic spirituality, the death of cosmos, and the excessive quest for personal salvation. The world does not need more inward journeys; but there are no limits to the inner journeys we can make.
That was certainly a new way of looking at egocentric v expansive faith.
p. 79 The most important function of art and science is to awaken the cosmic religious feeling and keep it alive.
I love how the author brings art and science together as almost tutors to help us grow spiritually. His religion is not constraining art or dismissing science but allowing all things to point to God. I think of Romans 8.28 "ALL THINGS work together for good...." So often I've taken my mental pencil and added a few words to that scripture to make it fit my doctrine or desires.
It had been a while since I wrote a gratitude list. I woke up Sunday morning and realized my feelings of contentment and joy were slipping. I realized it was time to write a gratitude list because I wanted to thank God and I wanted to improve my attitude. It did both and I felt calm, confident and cherished by Father God all day.
Gratitude
Gratitude
- I am grateful God loves me.
- I am grateful I have my computer back
- I am grateful I still have my Christmas tree up as the lights sooth me.
- I am grateful I have emotions - even when they aren't happy, perky ones.
- I am grateful I like my job
- I am grateful it got up to the upper 30s (F) yesterday
- I am grateful for the Divine Office
- I am grateful for Lent
- I am grateful I am at the place in life to recognize cycles - both productive and destructive
- I am grateful I see the hard times as the seed underground that will soon spout and grow and bear fruit
- I am grateful I no longer fear those dark times but rejoice at the inner work God is doing in me
- I am grateful for my church family
- I am grateful I have my computer back --- I know I said that already but I am so very grateful
- I am grateful I am learning to do good self care
- I am grateful for my warm apartment
- I am grateful I have reestablished my credit ex ruined by disobeying a court order
- I am grateful I am brave enough to buy a home on my own
- I am grateful that bravery is trust in God and not trust in myself
- I am grateful for music, especially contemporary Christian or soaking music
- I am grateful for several friends who have been very considerate of me during the past month
- I am grateful I am feeling better
- I am grateful I am not in denial about my health but able to embrace "what is"
- I am grateful it is God's love that helps me accept the difficult things
- I am grateful that I am culling closets in preparation to move, presuming the sale will go through
- I am grateful my contractor is female so when I explain what I want on the house, she understands
- I am grateful I will be on septic - I will learn so much about things that would have been important to St. Francis like ecology and working together and being gentle and generous - that excites me
- I am grateful for the Hep C because it has caused me to grow in self gentleness and compassion - which then flows more easily to others
- I am grateful since accepting my 39,000,000 viruses as part of my inner ecology rather than resenting them, my blood tests have been improving.
- I am grateful I'm starting to see the viruses similar to a pet - they need care and tending; they listen to me talk to them if gentle with them and they seldom state their opinion or tell me I'm wrong. LOL.
- I am grateful for my sister - she's a rock to me.
- I am grateful for several dear friends - both in person and online - that have had such a wonderful impact on my life
- I am grateful I grew up in a small town
- I am grateful I was raised in church
- I am grateful I saw my dad read his Bible, kneel, pray, tithe and set an example of loving God
- I am grateful Mom taught me to sew and live thrifty
- I am grateful for second hand stores
- I am grateful for my oldest son is dedicated to his God, family and church family
- I am grateful my oldest son and his wife are raising the children in a God-loving family
- I am grateful both sons are working on their MBA and I know how difficult that must be with large families and working full time.
- I am grateful my daughters-in-law are supportive of their husbands getting advanced degrees
- I am grateful my youngest son was able to be a house-dad and be home with the children for several years
- I am grateful my children are healthy
- I am grateful when all my data for the last 5 months was lost that I took it in stride - 50 chapters of 180 chapter book are gone, some legal documents are gone and the hard one was several hundred photos of my last vacation, especially the four generation photos and the photos of Mom's house before she sold it. The photos may be gone, but nothing can stop the memories of that trip.
- I am grateful I have an adequate memory
- I am grateful I am living in contentedness
- I am grateful for my beautiful Newfoundland
- I am grateful I have a view of the mountains and a mini-view of the ocean; both are scenes where I feel close to God
- I am grateful my new house will be 1000 feet from a salmon river and I want to learn to fish like I did with Dad and Uncle Joe as a child. We didn't salmon fish in Kansas but we did fish.
- I am grateful for meditation and contemplation
- I am grateful having a journal has helped me cope with life and grow
- I am grateful I do not fear death
- I am grateful I have learned to say no or make boundaries without feeling guilty.
- I am grateful I am learning the difference of healthy boundaries, being a bully, or being a doormat.
- I am grateful for God's love and the myriad ways He shows his tender love and care
- I am grateful for life
- I am grateful for my life
- I am grateful I'm learning to live my life.
- I am grateful God lives in me and through me
- I am grateful for the Great Commandment
- I am grateful for Jesus
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