Over a year ago, I posted this quote from a book: "Thanatos represents the preoccupation
with death, with the putting off of death, or with clinging to
death-filled objects. By sinning in this way we refuse to fall in love
with life, to love what is lovable, to savor life's simple and
non-elitist pleasures, to befriend pleasure, to celebrate the blessings
of life, to return thanks for such blessings by still more blessing."
That hit me between the eyes. What a reality check of my egocentric focus on the wrong things. I thank Father God for that reality check. Seeing it, naming it are the first steps to opening to what I want and what I believe God wants for me.
For the first time since starting this journey, I've reread what I've written - well, almost, I'm part-way through. I was rather taken aback how my view of God has changed. I knew I was changing but I didn't realize the rapidity of that change. Well, maybe I haven't changed as much as my first thought; maybe my vocabulary is just catching up with the changes. I will try to blog more often as a way to do a spiritual check-up that what comes out of my fingertips at the computer is what I want going on in my mine.
But I also realized that after being hospitalized in December and two cancer scares in January and February; that I have been focused on the wrong thing. I've been focused on health and death; rather then life and living. That's an easy thing to change. If I keep focused on the wrong thing, then I will draw it to me. I want to draw the abundant life God promised to me and chose to focus there.
Today has been good. I had several chores planned; it's sunny and warm (for here) out and that draws me. Those things will await; today is a God-n-me day. I've spent time having a 1-day spiritual vacation. I've watched several hours of videos by Rohr, I've read. I've meditated. I've started blogging again. I feel I'm heading in the right direction.
Yay Lent. It might be late in the season, but it is apparently right on time!
Blessings,
Debbie
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