Several times as Mom was in her last week of life, I'd say to those who were trying to encourage her to accept our reality, "Let Mom have her own reality." She was partly in our reality, partly in her past and partly in her future. It was a lovely experience to watch her move effortless between the three as she did the "work" of binding and loosening in preparation of her transition. She'd be talking to us, then change and parent like we were preschoolers; then she'd be talking to relatives and loved ones who had already passed. This last one often brought joy to her face, light to her eyes and her skin and countenance looked 20 years younger... the wrinkles would almost go and she'd get a rosy glow to her normally pale cheeks. Watching the switch was endearing, tender, interesting, and at times confusing - and it pulled on many emotions. Yes, it was strange to try to connect with someone who was reaching for connection who was not in the same reality -- but how often am I in the same reality as others I'm trying to communicate with? Seeing my own reality and not recognizing they are in theirs. With Mom dying the difference of reality was more pronounced so I noticed it more because of the widening gap of our different realities.
We were created for eternal life. The Christian tradition teaches the fall in the Garden of Eden hindered eternal life and required us to die to go to the other side. Yet, we are already eternal beings, it's just these "earth suits" and their associated paraphernalia (like ego) that hinder us from consistently remembering we're already eternal. Could that be part of the dualistic mind thinking here and there are disconnected? Would the non-dualistic mind see here and there as the same place that we can spiritually transcend? Those are weighty questions and not on topic.
Thus, it seems logical that the reality of the other side is more real then the reality on this side. I am blessed that my parents did not train me to fear death - but to accept it was a normal part of life. That helps me be free to think about death without aversion or fear - and, at times, even with humour and joy. I wonder if I was able to train my children with that same fearlessness and acceptance? I hope so - it is a wonderful gift.
I'm writing in circles again. The point of this blog post was to place some new thoughts - or old thoughts in new references - about death so I can look at them.
If I was created to be an eternal being, and through Adam I fell and landed in an earth suit with a life-span of 100 years or less, then isn't eternity more real then this short time in my earth suit (body)?
When somebody dies, we talk about them dying, we grieve their loss, etc. What if we've gotten it backwards? We're the ones who are still living in the body of death - they are living in eternal life where the Bible promises God will wipe away their tears and there will be no more sorrow or pain. I'm not diminishing the pain of us who are left behind and our lives have changed so drastically because of the loss - it's real and at times tangible; but it is temporary since we have a life-span before we rejoin our loved ones, friends and strangers.
I've mentioned in this blog, that 7-1/2 hours after Mom died, I realized as I took communion that through the Eucharistic feast that she was now more a part of me then she had been when we were both in earth suits. In her eternal state, she has shed her ego and can be there for me in a way that is humanly impossible if she was bound up in a physical body and the associated stuff that goes with that. Yeah, I'm still stuck in this earth suit; I'm still egocentric and trying to shed that me-ism for Christ-likeness. But I won't achieve that in fullness until I'm on the other side. Until I reach the other side, I can sense my loved ones presence in the Eucharist and "chew the cud" of that blessing throughout the week: Christ in me; Christ in them; all of in Him. We're so much closer to each other now then we were while wearing these skin-suits with clothes and hang-ups that are associated with living in this fallen, egocentric world.
My prayer is that I learn to live more unitive - more of Christ in me and me in Him as I recognize that since Christ is all in all, then I am closer to others then my gray & white-mattered brain can fathom.
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