One of my favorite quotes is by A. W. Tozer (an evangelical pastor of 40+ years) who wrote “The Knowledge of the Holy”, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” Why is it important about us? Because we become what we perceive about God. We’re children and we want to grow up to be just like our Father. By the way, that book is about the attributes of God can be found free online. I read it about 12 years ago and loved it and the language was beautiful and required thought and wasn’t like reading a 6th grade primer but challenged me after having read Christian books for decades that had lowered my vocabulary to that level.
My 12-step sponsor was a powerful woman of God. Her ministry was to handicapped children. Even as a spinster in her 60s, she had adopted many children who were dying from AIDS, were Down’s syndrome, had physical deformities and had buried many when their disease and conditions took their life. She also had several foster children. She said going to church faithfully (She was Assembly of God), was a challenge as she had 1 blind child, 3 in wheelchairs, 1 on crutches and the Downs children would easily wander off if not watched closely. Yet, she found time to daily read my journal, make comments and suggestions. One suggestion she made was that my God was too stern. To find a chapter in the Psalms about a loving, caring, nurturing God and memorize it. I started with Psalms 23. Before I started finding my thoughts embracing the possibility of a loving God who was on my side as a generous, validating Father, I’d had to memorize over 40 chapters of the Bible. Only a few are still semi-memorized, but memorizing them got them deeper so they could erase the damage the presentation of the cruel God had done. As my perception of God changed, so did my personality and I found myself being more generous and validating to others – loving them in ways that didn’t exalt me and minimize them; or minimize me and exalt them. I kicked down the ladders and all people stand on level ground with God lifted higher.
I consider myself spiritual. Since most evangelical, fundamentalist or Pentecostal Christians would consider me a heretic; and I'm okay with that. It's not their opinion about me, but God's opinion about me that matter. I’m not much into labels, as labels not only define, they limit. I don’t want to limit God and I don’t want to limit my experience of God-in-me and me-in-God. (John 14:20)
Before joining Anglican, I was in Assembly of God or in churches pastored by graduates of Rhema Bible Training Center of Tulsa (my children’s dad was a Rhema grad). When God called me to the Anglican fellowship, I was quite sure He was directing me wrong. I’d walked knowing the Spirit’s movement in me for decades and knew I was being obedient. Next I thought maybe He was using me as a bridge between the right and left wing of modern Christianity. Then I discovered I was there because God was working on me and in me. The fellowship I attend, has no posted doctrines or rules as they trust God to direct us. The only unwritten “rule” is to walk lovingly supportive of others whether we agree with where they are in their walk or not – that God is in charge of their journey. So there are people who are everywhere from Fundamental to very liberal and we wash dishes together, eat together, talk together, question together. It sometimes makes me wonder if that’s why Judaism uses the debate and then changing sides and debate the other position as part of their learning style. It gives me a chance to walk in their shoes - or respectfully listen to their stories and better understand them, and better know myself.
Although a voting “member” of that Anglican community, my thoughts about my faith walk would be more in line with unstructured, liberal Quakerism. There is no active Quaker church in this area, so I feel lead to stay Anglican. In case you wonder what I currently believe, I won’t reinvent the wheel (or the words), where this very long article defines both the similarities and differences of Christian Fundamentalism and unstructured, liberal Quakerism.
https://universalistfriends.org/library/a-quaker-s-response-to-christian-fundamentalism
I found the article very informative – just found it today. I like how it validates each side and gives people dignity.
Since I have a living faith, it means it grows, changes, adapts, sheds, expands, shrinks and is not static. The only thing that remains static is God-in-me and me-in-God and my ministry scripture of 2 Corinthians 1:4: “God comes along side us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, He brings someone along side so we can be there for that person just like God was there for you.” (paraphrase of the Message Bible – since I was too lazy to look it up to make sure it was exact.) I had self-debated if I was called to pulpit ministry. I’ve spent years behind a piano and microphone leading praise and worship and I still fill-in as alternate at my current church (where we have a praise band and use modern choruses and a few old-time gospel songs). When God lead me to 2 Cor. 1-4 about 15 years ago, it was like coming home to my true calling.... being there for others, like God is there for me.
I don’t see that age is an issue of finding our calling and following it. As long as we can still suck air, God isn’t done with us.
What can bring us closer to God then experiencing Him? Nature was the first Bible (1 Cor 15:46). For me, when I can’t experience God in nature, then I’m not experiencing God in anything but I’m back in my ego-ism (sin) and living for me – often intellectualizing God in my head instead of enjoying my relationship with Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment