Friday, January 25, 2013
Today I'll continue with quotes from Chasing Francis: A Novel by Ian Morgan Cron.
p. 54 "The word agnostic means 'not knowing.' There are countless mysteries that I have to stand before reverently and humbly while saying, 'I don't know.' It has taken me a long time to accept this."
Very interesting. I have always considered myself a believer and I believe in God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit without doubt. But I stand before God with areas of not knowing and not understanding and trying to find childlike faith so the dissonance doesn't pull me away from what I already know and believe. Maybe calling the bucket full of unknowns the agnostic portion of my faith is a way to remove the dissonance. In my agnostic bucket are things God will show me in His good time; while in the mean time they are just unknowns, agnostics, and not the stuff to fret or worry about or try to decipher. They are the agnostic areas whose flip side is trusting the Unknowable God to reveal in His time or never reveal if that is His will.
p. 54-55 "...no one tradition has a corner on the faith market. Sharing the wisdom each of our traditions bring to the table will create more well-rounded Christians. Francis was a Catholic, an evangelical street preacher, a radical social activist, a contemplative who devoted hours to prayer, a mystic who had direct encounters with God, and someone who worshiped with all the enthusiasm and spontaneity of a Pentecostal. He was a wonderful integration of all the theological streams we have today."
Wow. I don't know much about St. Francis except he sensed God in nature; but what I'm learning I like. I like the idea of Ecumenical faith. I know having been raised Methodist, finding faith at age 25, going to a disciples of Christ Bible school for a year, and moving into the Fundamental and then Pentecostal/Charismatic area and then into the Liturgical movement has given me a great appreciation for the various traditions. Each one has added depths to my faith and given me a greater appreciation for what each one brings to the body of Christ. If somebody reads this and wonders how I handle the diversity of doctrines exemplified in those traditions, it is easy to answer. When I get to heaven, Jesus is going to ask me if I followed the Great Commandment of allowing myself to be loved by God and then letting that love spill into loving others. I don't think he'll ever ask me, "Debbie, was your doctrine right?" I see no Biblical scripture or traditional precedent that says my doctrine has to be exact to "earn" heaven. I may get into more about how that works for me in the future, or maybe not. But it does work for me and I have no dissonance but am full of God's peace about it.
p. 59 "In Catholic universities, a doctorate in theology is not referred to as a PhD but as an STD. Doctor of Sacred Theology. It's an unfortunate name for a degree. It must be hard for someone's mother to say, "I'm so proud of my little boy. He went to seminary and got an STD."
That made me laugh. It probably doesn't fit with why I'm discovering I want to become a Franciscan; but it reminds me of God's wonderful sense of humor and whimsey.
p. 67 "Everywhere I go, I meet people, old and young, from all over the world, and they tell me about their lives, their relationships, broken families, their addictions, shame, guilt, failures. You'll never be able to speak into their souls unless you speak the truth about your own wounds. You need to tell them what our Lord has come to mean to you in the midst of your disappointments and losses. All ministry begins at the ragged edges of our own pain. .... I'd never thought sharing my brokenness with people was an effective church growth technique.
I liked this because it mirrors my own life. I love my behind the scenes ministry of loving some of the world's most wonderful people who are going through hard times or non-traditional lifestyles and who are there to encourage me in my own hard times. I beam when I see them start to grow and trust God again after they grieve whatever loss (usually the loss of a dream) has happened to them. I love them discovering how their inner unknown areas propelled them into a relationship that would result in such devastation. I love what God has me doing and I'm grateful I have a venue to do it. I'm so content that I am reluctant to take the next step of writing a book about inner healing. But I trust God to lead me in His timing to do whatever He wills.
The challenge for me is to not give answers; but to be a compassionate listener and, when requested, tell my story; and, if not, to just listen and let them find their own answers. It's a learning process.
p. 67 "Do you know the story of Rabbi Zusya?" he asked. "He was a Chasidic master who lived in the 1700s. One day he said, "When I get to the heavenly court, God will not ask me 'Why weren't you Moses?' Rather he will ask me, 'Why were you not Zusya?'"
Whoa. I like that. For me the first step started about 1999 when I went to counseling and 12-step to start the process of figuring out who I was. I really had no idea. Between my counselor and my beloved 12-step sponsor (who I never met in person), they left enough bread crumbs in the path I was able to find myself. I like the quote by Oscar Wilde, ""Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
Knowing who I am also means being responsible for my own stuff; allowing others the freedom to be responsible for their own stuff; and that frees me to have joy and peace. I LOVE my life.
p. 67 "Churches should be places where people come to hear the story of God and to tell their own. That's how we find out how the story of God and to tell their own. That's how we find out how the two relate. Tell your story with all of its shadows and fog, so people can understand their own. They want a leader who's authentic, someone trying to figure out how to follow the Lord Jesus in the joy and wreckage of life. They need you, not Moses."
I like that. Not much else to say except I give it two thumbs up!
p. 79 The word work in Hebrew is abad and it means 'to serve,' to be a servant to creation. The word for 'to take care of' is shamar. It implies watchful care and preservation. We allowed these texts to be twisted so that dominion became domination and stewardship became exploitation. The problem is, once you damage or break just one of the links in the Great Chain of Being, the whole is affected. Everything in the natural world is connected. If we destroy it, we destroy ourselves.
Wow. This has been quite a change for me. Historically, I'd practice ecology by not littering on the street; but that was about as deep as I understood the concept. I said I'd some day tell my story of how I decided to start learning to take care of this beautiful planet where God placed us.
On December 14, 2012, I had a gently surprising conversation. A week or before that date, I said
I'm never alone because God is with me and if I don't want to talk to
him, I could always talk to my viruses, E.Coli and bacteria that share
this body or earth suit. I started to talk to the 39,000,000 Hepatitis C viruses that live inside me; I asked them one question: "Why are you destroying the earth
suit that keeps you alive?" I had this reply (no it wasn't a verbal
voice, just an inner knowing) "We learned it from you, human." Oh my goodness.
Yes, us humans are destroying this earth, so
it's not surprising it has gone through the chain and even viruses
follow our example. I've been trying since then to be
more gentle to this planet that I ride around this galaxy on... and maybe
that is the secret to teach the inner viruses to stop destroying the earth suit we share.
I certainly don't do ecology perfect or even well yet. But I am learning. It is a start and I won't despise small beginnings. I think being a Franciscan will help me grow in that quest.
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Today some family issues came up. I had my quarterly appointment with my MD to review my blood work. I chatted on the phone to friends. I messaged with my children's father. Unfortunately, I will only get one divine office done today. I will have to figure out how to better schedule these things. Tomorrow I'm back to work, so will need to see how to incorporate secular life with orders. I am not beating myself up over it; but I am putting a red flag so I will pay attention and better utilize my time so God isn't squeezed out.
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